New Thing # 47

Date:- December 3rd 2009
New Thing:- Free Your Mind

Whilst searching for challenges, I came across this list. 50 Questions That Will Free Your Mind. I decided, as one of my new things, to attempt to answer them.

1) How old would you be if you didn't know how old you were?

Lol, probably very very young. People are always astonished to learn that I'm 27. Maybe 21 or 22.

2) Which is worse, failing or never trying?

Depends on the objective I guess. I think you should always try at something, but if you know that you're going to fail, I wouldn't suggest trying to skydive.

3) If life is so short, why do we do so many things we don't like and like so many things we don't do?

Peer pressure. The social pressure that we must all achieve the same goals and strive for the same things in life. Successful job, lots of money, family, white picket fence. So we put up with education that bores us, and jobs that drive us insane, to achieve those goals, whilst never having time for the things we do like, such as knitting and just sleeping. This is a good one to explain why I'm dropping out of university. I just don't like it.

4) When it's all said and done, will you have said more than you've done?

I definitely talk a lot. I like to thing I do things too. I know that I have life goals I've done nothing towards achieving. I wanna work on changing that.

5) What is the one thing you'd most like to change about the world?

Ideas of what is beautiful. A hundred years ago girls with figures like mine were most beautiful. Child-bearing hips! Strong constitutions! Enough money to feed myself properly! All kinds of reasons. Now everyone who isn't stick thin is wrong.

6) If happiness was the national currency, what kind of work would make you rich?

Crafting. Working in a yarn store or someplace where I could sit and craft all day and talk to people who craft and sell crafting goods

7) Are you doing what you believe in, or are you settling for what you are doing?

Well I was settling, but now I'm not. I'm changing. I'm just not sure what I believe in yet. I'm working on that.

8) If the average human life span was 40 years, how would you live your life differently?

Before or after I'd started panicking that I'm now an OAP? I wouldn't waste any time doing things that I HAVE to do.

9) To what degree have you actually controlled the course your life has taken?

I didn't have much control over my mid to late teens, and it led me to some dark places. But I think I'm gaining more control now.

10) Are you more worried about doing things right, or doing the right things?

Well I'm certainly not concerned about doing the right things. I have a very loose sense of morals.

11) You're having lunch with three people you respect and admire. They all start criticising a close friend of yours, not knowing she is your friend. The criticism is distasteful and unjustified. What do you do?

I stick up for her. One hundred percent, no hesitation. I can't say I've never criticised anyone, but I won't let people do it about my friends while I'm around.

12) If you could offer a newborn child only one piece of advice, what would it be?

Just one piece of advice? That's tough. I'd tell the child to never let anyone tell her she can't reach her dreams.

13) Would you break the law to save a love one?

Without any hesitation or second thoughts or regrets.

14) Have you ever seen insanity where you later saw creativity?

Not that I can think of, but some people tell me my writing is creative when I just see insane ramblings.

15) What's something you know you do differently than most people?

I'm forever being told that I eat my fruit wrong. I peel a banana completely and pull it out of the skin before I eat it. And once I've peeled an orange I'll eat it like an apple instead of pulling it into segments.

16) how come the things that make you happy don't make everyone happy?

Because not everyone can see the wonder and pleasure and possibilities in a ball of delicious soft yarn.

17) What one thing have you not done that you really want to do? What's holding you back?

Sex in snow. What's holding me back? A lack of decent snow in England, and a lack of funding to go somewhere that has the snow.

18) Are you holding onto something you need to let go of?

My past. I'm getting better at letting go of it, but I'm still clinging.

19) If you had to move to a state or country besides the one you currently live in, where would you move and why?

Well, a few months ago I would have said I'd move to America because that's what I'd always dreamed of. Now that I've been here for a few months though, I can see it's flaws.

20) Do you push the elevator button more than once? Do you really believe it makes the elevator faster?

I didn't used to, but then I spent five minutes waiting for the elevator in Boston South Station before realising I hadn't pushed it properly the first time.

21) Would you rather be a worried genius or a joyful simpleton?

I worry a lot at the moment, and although I wouldn't necessarily call myself a genius, I'd give up quite a lot to be able to stop worrying so much.

22) Why are you, you?

Because of everything that has happened to me, and everyone in my life.

23) Have you been the kind of friend you want as a friend?

I certainly hope so. You'd be better off asking Jen.

24) Which is worse, when a good friends moves away, or losing touch with a good friend who lives right near you?

The idea of Jen moving away terrifies me, but at least if she moves we'd still be in touch.

25) What are you most grateful for?

Neil and Jen. I'd be completely lost without either of them. They've done so much for me it's impossible to describe what they mean to me.

26) Would you rather lose all of your old memories, or never be able to make new ones?

Not all of my memories are good ones, I think I'd rather be able to make new ones.

27) Is it possible to know the truth without challenging it first?

Only if you're willing to accept what someone else tells you.

28) Has your greatest fear ever come true?

My greatest fear is losing someone close to me. At the moment that means Neil or Jen or Michaela or Mum or Jennie. But I have lost people close to me. My relationship with my Dad is screwed almost beyond reparation, so yes.

29) Do you remember that time 5 years ago when you were extremely upset? Does it really matter now?

Where was I five years ago? Five years ago I was living in my brand new flat in Stoke-on-Trent after 9 months of deep dark black depression in the YMCA after running away from my family and everyone I know. All of that was painful and horrible, but it led me to where I am now. I don't regret it.

30) What is your happiest childhood memory? What makes it so special?

I remember when me and Jennie were both small enough that Dad would take us up to bed on his back as our pony. I don't know if that's the happiest memory I have, but it is vivid. It's special because it was before everything started to change.

31) At what time in your recent past have you felt most passionate and alive?

As corny as it sounds, last time I was with Neil.

32) If not now, then when?

When I was back in England.

33) If you haven't achieved it yet, what do you have to lose?

I miss Neil. I can't wait to get home.

34) HAve you ever been with someone, said nothing, and walked away feeling like you just had the best conversation ever?

I can sit with someone and be silent, but not for long. I'm a chatterbox. Most of the people I know are chatterboxes.

35) Why do religions that support love cause so many wars?

If I knew that I could start a campaign for world peace.

36) Is it possible to know, without a doubt, what is good and what is evil?

I don't think so. There are too many levels of grey. Too many different ways to view things.

37) If you just won a million dollars, would you quit your job?

I don't know. A million dollars wouldn't last forever in this day and age. I might take an extended vacation. Or use it to clear all my debts and get a house and pay all my bills and things for the next few years so that I can work without worry.

38) Would you rather have less work to do, or more work that you actually enjoy doing?

More work that I enjoy.

39) Do you feel like you've lived this day a hundred times before?

I have. Hundreds and hundreds.

40) When was the last time you marched into the dark with only the soft glow of an idea you strongly believed in?

I don't think I ever have.

41) If you knew that everyone you know was going to die tomorrow, who would you visit today?

Mum, Michaela and Jennie. Then Jen. Then Neil.

42) Would you be willing to reduce your life expectancy by 10 years to become extremely attractive or famous?

No.

43) What is the difference between being alive and truly living?

When you're truly living every minute of being awake is happy and full of adrenaline.

44) What is the time to stop calculating risk and rewards, and just go ahead and do what you know is right?

I don't think you should do something without thinking about it first, but you need to spend more time doing and less time thinking about doing.

45) If we learn from our mistakes, why are we always so afraid to make a mistake?

Mistakes hurt. People are afraid of the pain, even if they know it's good for them in the end.

46) What would you do differently if you knew nobody would judge you?

I don't know. I don't tend to think about that too much anyway.

47) When was the last time you noticed the sound of
your own breathing?

Every night. I count my breathes to help me fall asleep.

48) What do you love? Have any of your recent actions openly expressed this love?

I love crafting. I dropped out of university so I'd have more time to do it.

49) In 5 years from now, will you remember what you did yesterday? What about the day before that? Or the day before that?

Yesterday I didn't really do anything, so probably not. The day before that was the Tuesday Night Trivia final, that I'll probably remember forever :-) Go Spartans!

50) Decisions are being made right now. The question is: Are you making them for yourself, or are you letting other make them for you?

I try to make them for myself.