New Moon

Okay, I gave in. I'm watching New Moon. Just to see what all the fuss is about, you know. I saw Twilight (even though I still haven't read the books) and when I start watching a series I like to finish it. Plus, I have a mild vampire obsession and I like to watch all the different shows and see the movies and read the books. See the different portrayals and things. I'm blogging as I watch, so be prepared for tangents.

I would just like to state though, that despite my vampire obsession I am definitely Team Jacob when it comes to the Twilight Saga. I refuse to see Edward Cullen and his family as vampires. VAMPIRES DO NOT SPARKLE!! I accept that different writers have different mythologies, and that they like to make their own mark, but VAMPIRES DO NOT FUCKING SPARKLE!! So... Team Jacob. Plus, from what I hear, Jacob takes his top off at some point.

Idiot. Edward just told Bella he's leaving. Why do men in fiction-land do that? And "I love you, you're the most important thing that's ever happened to me, I'd die without you, etc etc etc... by the way, I'm leaving. Bye." Muppet. I always liked Cedric Diggory; as a character in the books, and as a hottie in the movie. And the actor is hot, but the character of Edward is a muppet. I love vampires, and I love werewolves too. In this series, I'm definitely more of a werewolf fan.

And there goes the shirt. Highly over-rated. Yeah, he's buff, but not as spectacular as people make out. I always think that buff muscly men are nice to look at, but I prefer my guys skinny. Also, Jacob is like the opposite of my type. He's buff and tanned (well, he's Native American) and he has this luscious long black hair. I like my men tall and white and nerdy. I like my men exactly like Neil. I would kill to have Jacob's hair for myself though.

This movie is turning out to be a lot like the first one. An OK way to waste two hours, but not exactly a classic. I think the only time I'll ever watch it again is when the next one is due out and I do my customary catch. Still, it has more than an hour to go. It could get drastically better, but I doubt it.

Okay, I'm starting to see the attraction to Jacob. He's cut his hair and he's standing in nothing but shorts in pouring rain. Having a mild mild effect on me. I do like rain. And I have a big skin fetish, and there's an awful lot of his skin on show right now.

So, how about those cows?

Lol, no one but Neil (and possibly Jen) will get why I said that. Hehe. Inside joke.

Oh but the wolves. The wolf form of these werewolves are absolutely beautiful. Very realistic. Not deformed man dogs like in some stories, but gorgeous huge beautiful wolves. I want one! I wonder if I can find a werewolf and get it to infect Neil? Hmmm....

Shirtless short-haired Jacob is back. Only this time without the rain. Not attractive. His hair is silly. Apparently I'm only Team Jacob in the rain.

I really don't get what all these boys see in Bella, you know. She's thick! Her boyfriend is a vampire; his entire family are vampires. And it takes her ages to figure out her best friend is a werewolf, despite all the clues. He has a temper, he has a high body temperature, he told her his family were descended from wolves, and a pack of giant wolves rescued her from a nasty vampire. She really couldn't figure it out? Moron woman!

Hmmm, now Edward topless on the other hand.... yummy. The character is a knob, but he's pale and white and skinny and not-quite-so-buff. Had more of an effect on me then Jacob did.

Damn, I really need to get back home to Neil.

Right, it's over. It got quite good for about twenty minutes. When it stopped being so much of a teenage drama romance and turned into more of a vampire movie. They went to see a set of council-type people in Italy. That was quite cool. Ended with Jacob and Edward bitch fighting over Moron Girl and then Edward proposing. Silly movie really. I'll probably still watch the next one when it comes out though.