So, that was 2010...

It's over. Well, not quite. Technically there's still six hours left of it for me, but I honestly can't see me moving off the sofa for it. I've had a really exhausting day. It'll be a miracle if I even make it to midnight.

Anyway, last year I had a lot of plans for 2010. If you don't wanna read that post, I'm about to list the highlights, and how I did.

Be better with money

Ummmmm. Well, in spring I had a major breakdown money-wise. There was a Brownies thing, and a rent thing, and then there was a selling the Wii and tv thing, and it was a big depressing mess. A few months later I handed my finances over to my mum and asked for help. She called everyone I owe money to, and all my bills and things, and arranged for me to pay them. Now I have lots of standing orders going out on payday. It's been a little tough having hardly any money. I mean, I have enough. After all the bills, and gas and electric, I usually have £20-30 ish to play with, and to get food (per fortnight). That's not bad. But considering when I didn't pay any bills I had £200ish to play with, it's a bit of a drop. I'm getting used to it. As far as the resolution goes, I'm actually doing it. When I asked mum for help, the original plan was to hand control of my internet banking over to her or my sister, so I couldn't delete or change the standing orders. But there was a delay in some of the bills and things, and I never got around to it. But I've been paying the bills, not fiddling with the standing orders. Which for me is a huge improvement. I've paid off one debt already. By the end of 2011, I should only have one or two huge ones left.

Start saving

Not so good. I have difficulty saving anyway, and then with the money issues this year it's been impossible. With Project 200, I'll be saving via Cayden or Jen, and maybe I can give them some extra money too.

Pay damn bills

See above comment about money

Classes and courses and groups

In that post last year I listed a hundred different classes and courses and interest groups I was going to go to. I never got to any of them. I haven't had money to go anywhere other than on pay day really, and I've settled back into my old routine of not leaving the house. But I don't mind. I don't have anywhere to go, and I have plenty to keep me busy. It's not like I lounge on the couch watching tv all day. I do a lot.

Lose weight

I did go back to Weightwatchers. I went at the end of April and discovered that I very nearly hit that 30 stone threshold, but not quite. It was a shock, so I made an effort. I couldn't afford to go every week, but I went roughly once a fortnight. I lost a total of 18 lbs by the start of September, but then I had the big money decrease and haven't been able to afford it. I plan to go back in the New Year now I have a tiny bit of extra money.

Swimming

Nope. Never happened. I'd still like it to, but I'm highly doubtful it'll happen this year.

More writing

I have been doing some writing, but not nearly as much as I used to, or as I'd like to be doing. On my daily checklist, I have down to either do some math from a GCSE book I'm working through, or to do some writing. Trouble is, I've been counting blogging as doing writing. I'll change that.

Weekly photography missions

These never happened either. Although I do still like the idea. I may try it again this year. Perhaps not 50 pictures a week. I'll do 10 a week; much more manageable.

New incarnation of 52 New Things

I did this one! I completed 52 challenges. Well, I documented them all, I didn't necessarily complete them all. I'm quite proud of myself for that, and for last year. I don't normally manage to maintain a project, let alone one that lasts a year, and I've managed to keep these up for two years now. The new incarnation for 2011 is Project 200.

Moving

I did this! I moved on January 16th, and I love my flat. It gets a little lonely, but I have my Smudge....



...and I'd much rather be lonely occasionally than be in shared accomodation again. I love not having to compromise with anyone.

Keep my depression at a handleable level

Now this one is debateable. I've had a LOT less episodes than years past, but I've also been finding that my depression has been manifesting differently, so I'm not entirely sure. I haven't been suicidal quite as often, and I haven't self-harmed very much. But my dermotillomania is off the charts, and all my energy and oomph has a tendency to just vanish and leave me staring at the wall for hours at a time.

Stay with Neil

It has been a VERY rough year. Especially for Neil, with the loss of his brother, and a full year of episoding. His episode finally subsided a month or two ago, and his grief over Paul kicked in. He's had it hard. And relationship-wise it's been hard on me, because I've only seen him a few times. The last time was the end of July. But we're still together. I still love him with all my heart, and I'm still planning to stay with him through whatever life throws at us.

Be happy

I wouldn't say I'm 100% happy. There is still a lot in my life that I'd change if I could, and some stuff that I can change and that I'm trying my hardest to. But I can say that I'm content.

There's been developments that I didn't consider last year. It's been a year of pets. I haven't been too successful with them. When I moved, mum gave me a kitten. Tippi. Who turned out to be a boy, so he was Alfred Hitchcock, aka Alfie.



And then I got a rabbit to go with him. Sir Reginald Fortescue, aka Reggie.



But then Alfie escaped while I was down at Mum's one weekend, and I couldn't find him. And then my landlady decided she didn't want me to have a rabbit, so we took Reggie to the rehoming centre at PetsMart. So I was petless, which was not good. Then I got Pixel.



She was found by someone as a stray, with lots of little kittens. They took her in, but couldn't keep her, so I had her. Then I got Smudge, who is quite possibly the cutest cat I've ever had.



But Pixel tried to eat Smudge. Pixel really didn't enjoy being an indoors cat at all. She was always loud and restless and trying to escape, so I rehomed her with someone who could let her be an outdoor cat. Now I just have Smudge, but hopefully that's changing soon - there's a plan for kittens.

And the baking. I've developed a fascination with baking. No idea what triggered it, it just happened. Now I'm obsessed with it. The muffins! I've made six batches of muffins since I've been down here at Mum's. I made sausage and cheese ones Christmas day, and chilli and sweetcorn ones. Then I made gingerbread muffins. The gingerbread ones were so good one of mum's friends requested her own batch, so I made more of those. And yesterday I made more sausage and cheese ones because we had sausagemeat left. Today I made banana and walnut ones which were also delicious. But that's it! No more muffins til next year! Mind you, we went to Hobbycraft yesterday and I got cookie cutters, so I might make cookies next.

It's been a long and hard year. I hope 2011 is better, for everyone. Best wishes from me and Smudge.

Project 200

So, regular followers of my blog will know that for the past couple of years I've been setting myself a year-long challenge type thing. In 2009 I did 52 things I'd never done before. And this year I did 52 individual challenges. For 2011 I was going to do New Things again, and then I saw an interesting movie.

The movie is Julie and Julia, and it tells two stories simultaneously. One is the story of chef Julia Childs, and how she came around to publishing her cookbook. The other is a modern day story of a lady called Julie, who decides that she's going to cook all of the recipes in Julia Childs' book in a year, and that she's going to blog about it.

I liked the idea, but I'm neither proficient enough nor rich enough to do the cooking thing, so I had to think of something else. I considered working through a whole book of cross stitch patterns, or knitting patterns, or muffin recipes. I narrowed the idea down to making 52 different scarves, or shawls, or even blankets. Then I came up with the final idea. I took one of those display folders with fixed plastic wallets and filled it with patterns.

I have got a MILLION patterns. I cross stitch, knit, crochet, sew, blackwork, etc... and I collect books and patterns for all of them. I didn't think it'd be hard to fill a book with 200 patterns. It was. Once I'd been through all of the patterns I have, and picked out the ones I was interested enough in to actually do, I had about 50-60. So I went hunting the internet for more. It took me a while, but eventually I filled the folder.

So, next year's challenge is Project 200. A folder full of 200 different cross stitch, embroidery, felt work, crochet and knitting patterns. I have some rules...

1) ALL projects must be started AND finished between 12.01am January 1st 2011, and 11.59pm December 31st 2011.
2) Patterns cannot be changed. I can't find a nice pattern in July and take out one from the folder and put the new one in.
3) Once I finished the list, I emailed it to Cayden, and it became final. No more edits.
4) Additional projects may be made, but do not count towards Project 200.
5) Projects do not have to be done in order.

For a while, I wasn't sure if 200 was a ridiculous amount of projects, so I looked back at my project book. Between November 25th 2009 and November 25th 2010, I started and completed 91 projects. I started and didn't finish another 12, and I started and frogged 3. Bear in mind that I was also working on the Mammoth Secret Project, which took up a lot of time. So, 200 isn't that far a stretch. It's enough to be challenging, without being an impossible amount.

There are a variety of projects in the folder. Some blankets, and some jumpers and things, but then there are also several dishclothes, and some smaller cross stitches, so it balances out. There are some techniques I've never done too, like making socks, and intarsia. It should be... interesting.

Final detail of course, is incentive. I'll be giving Jen or Cayden a special money box, because they can be trusted to not break into it, and I can't. Then, every payday, I'll aim to give them £1 or £2 per completed project. I'm also going to gradually give them the money I've earned this year. By the end of the year I should have a nice pile of cash to spend at a nice yarn store. There's a place called K2Tog near me that does some gorgeous yarns - it's where I got that Noro, and the llama - I just haven't been able to afford to go there in over a year.

So, that's the plan. All that's left to do is wait until New Year. Watch this space.

New Thing: Challenge # 52

Challenge 52: Don't eat ANY Christmas chocolate until the day AFTER Boxing day.

In theory, this shouldn't have been difficult. I had plenty of non-Christmas chocolate to keep me going. It was hardest to remember. I'm so used to opening my stocking and cracking in to the chocolate coins without even thinking about it.

But I managed! And so the year ends on a pass, even if there were more fails than passes overall, it's still good.

I'm about to blog about my Big Thing for next year, so look out for that.

Current saved total: £100
Current donated total: £160

So, that was Christmas

My Christmas in pictures...



Mum's dog Gracie. Lovely little ball of fluff.



My sister Michaela, who spent most of Christmas on her laptop. She usually hands out the presents, but this year my chair was closer to the tree, so I assumed I'd be doing it. Oh no, she insisted she had to do it, but she took her laptop with her, and to respond to all twelvety-hundred of her conversations between each present. Took a bit longer than normal.



Smudge is doing a lot better down here than I thought. Mum has a dog and two big cats. We've been keeping the cats out of the living room, so Smudge hasn't encountered them. And she and Gracie have managed to be within inches of each other without fighting, but then Smudge gets anxious and hisses. They can generally manage to be in the same room, as long as Gracie doesn't get too curious.



Oh Christmas Tree, Oh Christmas Tree, your baubles are so sparkly! And just because it reminds me of this...



Hehehe, I do loves those Lolcatz.



PRESENTS!!!





Shiny (slightly blurry) baubles.



Me in my funky Christmas hat :D



Christmas gingerbread biscuits. Store bought...



...but no less tasty :D



I made tasty muffins for breakfast. The red ones are Chilli and Sweetcorn, and the green ones are Sausage and Cheese. Both absolutely delicious. I make good muffins.



This is what Neil got me for Christmas, in his usual way.
Me: "Neil, can I buy this, take it off the money I owe you and say it's a gift from you?"
Neil: "Ok"



And Yeti enjoyed my muffins too. Lol, I'm such a child.

It was a good Christmas. I got lots of goodies, as usual. I was a little cheesed off when my 13 year old sister got a box of my most favourite chocolates - Guylian Sea Shells - and chomped through them like they weren't expensive and insanely delicious. But I got a big box of three different types of belgian chocolate cookies, so I was placated.

Oh my goodness, only 363 days til next Christmas! Better start making presents!!

New Thing: Challenge # 51

Challenge 51 - Go 24 hours without saying a certain word

Now, I'm a little bit obsessed with Christmas. I LOVE it, and I can't stop thinking or talking about it. So my challenge this week was to go 24 hours without saying the words "Christmas" or "Santa".

I waited until Thursday (today) to do this, because I'd be with Mum and Michaela, and would therefore have adjudication. Here's how it went...

Midnight - Okay, I'm still awake and chatting with Michaela about "Easter".
2am - I fall asleep
4.30am - I wake up and can't get back to sleep.
6.00am - Mum gets up so I make her a cup of coffee
6.30am - Mum and I are talking about tv and I mention considering watching a BBC "Truth about Christmas Carols" special
6.31am - Facepalm

D'oh. I failed. Miserably. I lasted six hours! If I'd been able to sleep longer, I might have lasted longer.

One more challenge to go!!

Current saved total: £95
Current donated total: £160

My 2nd Free Pattern - Candy Bowl

Candy Bowl
A 2010 Celeena Cree pattern



Skill: Crochet

You will need:
- Any type of yarn
- An appropriate hook
- Tapestry needle

Gauge is unimportant

Rnd 1) Chain 2, sc 6 into 2nd ch from hook (6)
Rnd 2) 2 Sc into each st around (12)
Rnd 3) *Sc in the next st, 2 sc in the next st.* Repeat around. (18)
Rnd 4) *Sc in the next 2 sts, 2 sc in the next st.* Repeat around. (24)
Rnd 5) *Sc in the next 3 sts, 2 sc in the next st.* Repeat around. (30)
Rnd 6) *Sc in the next 4 sts, 2 sc in the next st.* Repeat around. (36)
Rnd 7) *Sc in the next 5 sts, 2 sc in the next st.* Repeat around. (42)
Rnd 8) *Sc in the next 6 sts, 2 sc in the next st.* Repeat around. (48)
Rnd 9) *Sc in the next 7 sts, 2 sc in the next st.* Repeat around. (54)
Rnd 10) *Sc in the next 8 sts, 2 sc in the next st.* Repeat around. (60)
Rnd 11) *Sc in the next 9 sts, 2 sc in the next st.* Repeat around. (66)
Rnd 12) *Sc in the next 10 sts, 2 sc in the next st.* Repeat around. (72)
Rnd 13) Sc around. (72)
Rnd 14) *Sc in the next 11 sts, 2 sc in the next st.* Repeat around. (78)
Rnd 15) *Sc in the next 12 sts, 2 sc in the next st.* Repeat around. (84)
Rnd 16) Sc around. (84)
Rnd 17) *Sc in the next 13 sts, 2 sc in the next st.* Repeat around. (90)
Rnd 18) *Sc in the next 14 sts, 2 sc in the next st.* Repeat around. (96)
Rnd 19) Sc around. (96)
Rnd 20) *Sc in the next 15 sts, 2 sc in the next st.* Repeat around. (102)
Rnd 21) *Sc in the next 16 sts, 2 sc in the next st.* Repeat around. (108)
Rnd 22) Sc around. (108)

Note: you can continue increasing the size of your bowl at this point, but you must end with a multiple of 4 stitches. 112, 116, 120, 124, etc.

Rnd 23) *Sc in the next st, sk the next st, (3 dc, ch 2, 3 dc) in the next st, sk the next st. Repeat around.

To finish, sew in the loose ends.

Letter to Santa

Dear Santa,

Despite being laughed at, I still believe in Christmas, and in Magic and in you. I do know that you only have time to read the letters of children though, so I haven't written you anything in quite a few years now. But this year, I'm hoping that one of your elves will read my blog and pass on my messages.

I'm going to be at my Mum's house for Christmas, as usual, but the weather here is really bad at the moment, so please drive your sleigh carefully. And make sure you wear all your layers.

My wish list for this year is small, and reasonably practical. I need more yarn. Actually, that's not quite a whole-truth. I have plenty of yarn, I don't NEED any more, but I could always find a use for more! Especially soft purple stuff, since I used all mine on the Mammoth Secret Project.

And I've been working hard on my baking this year, so I'd like cookie cutters and baking trays and icing equipment and things. I promise that next year I'll leave you some handmade cookies. I might even manage it this year, if my sister helps me.

My final wish is something a little less tangible. I'd like for Neil's family to have a good Christmas. It's going to be hard on them this year, and I hope they can still enjoy themselves.

HAPPY HOLIDAYS, Santa! Give my best wishes to Mrs Claus and the reindeer and the elves.

Cleo, aged 28.

New Thing: Challenge # 50

Challenge 50: Write a "This I Believe" essay.

I managed to pass one! It's not exactly an essay, more like a list. But the whole idea of this challenge was to think about and focus on what I believe, and that's what I've done. I've left the file on the desktop of my laptop, and I'm going to look back at it in a few days to see if it inspires a piece of writing.

This I Believe...

I believe that everyone has the right to be as different as they want.
I believe in faith, and in a higher power, but I don’t believe in religion.
I believe that in the indefinable size of the universe, and other universes, and general existence, that there must be a planet with life on it somewhere.
I believe that vampires and werewolves and ghouls and ghosts and elves and fae roam the earth, but that they are better at hiding that the stories make them out to be.
I believe that despite my flaws, I deserve the same chance at love and happiness as everyone else.
I believe that love can conquer anything.
I believe in freedom, beauty, truth and love.
I believe that as long as you aren’t hurting anyone, you can do whatever you like.
I believe that Santa Claus is real.
I believe that wishes can come true.
I believe that dreams are messages.
I believe that people aren’t as nice to each other as they could be.
I believe in past lives and reincarnation.
I believe in imagination.
I believe that adults should indulge their inner child more than they do.
I believe that not all wounds will always heal.
I believe in superheroes.
I believe in the healing power of cuddles and laughter.
I do not always believe in myself, but I believe that someone else does.
I believe in the right of every human being to believe what they like.
I believe in the Christmas spirit.
I believe in hopefulness, and in hopelessness.
I believe in magic.



Current saved total: £95
Current donated total: £155

Lapse blogger

I have this wonderful habit of setting up themed days and forgetting about them. I gave up on the One Day One Sentence thing. Writing Wednesdays have gone awol - coincidentally about the same time my writer's block hit in full force. Food Fridays are absent because I haven't had the gas to do any baking. I'm having issues with my gas supplier, but they should be sorted in the New Year. Stitching Sundays are also missing. I've been doing a lot of stitching, but most of it is Christmas gifts I can't put on here just yet. Which is a shame, cos some of them I'm REALLY proud of.

I feel like I'm making excuses. I could find past writing to feature, and there is stitching I've been doing that I could share. I just don't. I don't know why. I like typing. I like to blog.

Actually World of Warcraft might have something to do with it. Last week Neil decided he wanted to reactivate his account, and he paid for a month for me, so I've been playing that a lot. I'm already having trouble balancing WoW with Christmas stitching. And I can't really blog whilst doing either of them. But I'll try to be better.

Maybe...

New Thing: Challenge # 49

Challenge 49 - Do a crochet project, following the symbols

Yes, this is the same challenge as last week but it's something that I want to know how to do, so I had another go at it. And this week I actually managed to have a go. I failed. Just a big knot. I understand the theory. I know that this symbol means do this, and this symbol means do that... I just don't get the other bits. Do I join the round? What stitch and I increasing into?

It made no sense to me. So fail. But at least I attempted it this week.

Current saved total: £90
Current donated total: £155

2nd Blogaversary

Monday 29th November was the 2nd Anniversary of my blog :D

New Thing: Challenge # 48

Challenge 48 - Do a crochet project, following the symbols

Crochet patterns are generally written in two forms. You get the line by line wording...

Rnd 1. Sc 4 in magic ring (4)

Rnd 2. *Sc in next sc, Inc* around (6)

Rnd 3. *Sc in next 2 sc, Inc*around (8)

Rnd 4. *Sc in next 3 sc, Inc*around (10)

Then you have a charted pattern...



When I taught myself how to crochet last year, I used the written out version and have never gotten to grips with the charts. My challenge for the week was to follow a charted pattern. I had one in mind, this nice star. I just haven't gotten around to it. I've been ill, I've had a house to rearrange, and all sorts. I just never got the time. It is something I want to do though, so I'm going to try it again for this week's challenge.

Current saved total: £90
Current donated total: £150

Itchy Feet Syndrome

I inherited Itchy Feet Syndrome from my mother. She moved around a lot. I honestly can't work out how many times she moved between leaving dad and having Michaela. Since Michaela was born she's stuck in Basingstoke though.

I inherited this itchy feet thing. I left home at 16 and have had lived in 9 different places in the 12 years since then. Unfortunately moving is generally quite expensive, so I usually try to let my Itchy Feet manifest in moving furniture around. Every other month or so the Itchy Feet kick in and I can't stop myself.

A few hours ago I decided I was far too cold, and hefted my desk over to nearer the electric heater in the living room. Bad idea. Since then I haven't been able to settle properly, and have been imagining all the furniture in different places.

I'm definitely rearranging the living room, I'm just trying to wait until it's not such an indecent time. It's currently 7 in the morning, and I don't want to annoy my neighbours any more than I usually do. But I've figured out where everything is going to go. I'm moving all but one piece of living room furniture, and putting a bookshelf back into the bedroom. I want to get started already!

Food Fridays

Last weekend I did quite a lot of cooking. I made copious amounts of a delicious Frank and Bean Chowder, to freeze for future meals. I made one batch, and liked it so much I brought the ingredients to make three more batches. But man, I could quite happily eat it all. The stuff is scrumptious.

Baking wise, I had a go at some basic chocolate chip cookies. I got some nice Hotel Chocolatier chocolates from Neil (sort of) that came with a pack of their 70% dark chocolate chips, so I used those. And to make things different I added a splash of peppermint. They were amazing. I LOVE mint chocolate stuff.

New Thing: Challenge # 47

Challenge 47 - Embroider on card

I've been running out of ideas for challenges, so I asked Cayden to suggest one. He went with his latest crafting craze, which is transferring a picture to cardboard via pinholes, and then sewing it.



I chose a simple blackwork cross, and copied it onto squared paper. Then I layered it with some sparkly red card on a nice piece of foam, and attacked it with a pin.



I was tempted to not sew it, and to just stick it up on the window, cos it gives such a pretty pattern (sorry about the blurry)...



But the challenge was to sew it, and sew it I did. When you think of sewing up holes in cardboard, you tend to think of those kiddy embroidery kits, but it was so not as easy as it sounds. When you sew on aida, you can drag the needle across the holes on the back side, to find the right point, but it's not as easy as that on card. And you distort the holes really easily, which is very frustrating. But I did it, and I think it came out quite well.



You can't really see the sparkly in the picture, but the paper is all glittery and lovely.

Current saved total: £90
Current donated total: £145

Minor Triumphs

I've been feeling really proud of myself for what I've acheived this week. I had a moment of thinking that I shouldn't be proud, because it's all things that normal people do without even thinking about it. But I'm not a normal person. I have trouble waking up in the morning, let alone doing anything else. So my triumphs are pretty huge for me.

Whereas I normally only go out once a fortnight, I've left the house five of the last six days.

I've managed to catch up with all of my washing up, and keep it from piling up again.

I cleaned half of my kitchen, which admittedly is not my whole kitchen, but half is better than I normally get done.

I've remembered to brush my teeth every night. As gross as it sounds, that's something I forget to do a lot.

I got my new glasses yesterday, and I've been wearing them like I'm supposed to as well.

I've finished lots of craft projects.

When I emptied the bins, I didn't leave the bags at the top of the stairs for the next time I went down, like I normally do. I actually took them down.

As I say, none of it is huge, but it's pretty impressive for me. Especially since I've been ill. The bladder infection cleared itself up overnight on Wednesday, and I finally managed to get some sleep. Which is just as well since I slept through the alarm and missed my doctor's appointment. I also managed to get a cold that day, and am all stuffy and runny and gross at the moment.

But generally, things are good :-)

Stitching Sundays

I've had Cayden stay over for the weekend - since I have a sofa now, we don't have to worry about him catching the last bus - and we crafted up a storm as usual. I made a felt plushie as a Christmas present, and I'm sooooo proud of it, but I don't know if the recipient reads my blog or not, so I can't post it just yet. I, and Cayden, got the felt plushie bug though. He made a little Mochi and a duo-tone star, and I made a loop.



Boy, there were a few learning curves with him. I learned quite a few things with the two plushies as well. Like, sew on ALL additions before sewing the back to the front. And, leave the stuffing seam somewhere that's easy to reach. But they're adorable. I want to make more, but I think I've run out of decent sized pieces of felt. I'm popping to eBay once I've done this.

I've finished quite a few projects this week, but they are mostly small ones. I made a witch's hat and a Nanny Ogg quote for a Discworld themed swap...




And I made some Christmas decorations for another swap...




I liked the star so much that I had to make a whole set for myself too...


I'm making some more candy canes too :-) And I've got an idea for a larger wreath that I'm working on. I LOVE CHRISTMAS!!

Not good

Ok, so as if I didn't have enough problems with sleep...

I have a bladder infection. Whilst out doing errands yesterday, in six hours I used eight different public toilets, and missed three buses because I couldn't hold it long enough. It's not painful, just uncomfortable. When I don't have to go out though, it's not too bad. I get on with my day, and take lots of bathroom breaks.

At night though... I lay down, I close my eyes, and there's nothing to distract me. Last night I had three hours sleep. Tonight I haven't been able to get to sleep at all. I can't decide if I should keep trying, or just give up and use the time to do something productive.

I have an appointment with the doctor first thing in the morning, and hopefully he'll give me some antibiotics. I'd happily have the infection for three times as long, if it went away for 8 hours a night so I could sleep!

New Thing: Challenge 46

Challenge 46 - live diurnally for 2 weeks

My body naturally leans towards nocturnal living. No matter how long I've been awake, or how rested I am, I am ALWAYS much happier, more alert and active during the night time. Since I have no job, no college, no dependents, I don't really see a problem with living that way. I can do pretty much everything online these days, so living nocturnally is a viable way of life.

The only thing that bothers me is that my friends and family aren't nocturnal, so when I sink into a habit of going to bed at dawn, and waking up around 5-6pm, I don't get to see or speak to anybody very much. Particularly Neil, who goes to bed the second he gets home from work. So every so often I try to get into a "proper" routine. I usually fail.

This week I decided to set a challenge to stay diurnal for two weeks. I failed. Miserably. Day 1 I woke up ill, and that was the end of it.

I'm not too disappointed, to be honest. I've managed to stay not-quite-as-nocturnal, and with my new sofa and computer chair I'm keeping to a better routine than I was.

Current saved total: £85
Current donated total: £145

Food Fridays

So, while I was at Mum's for the week just recently, her neighbour Linda asked me to make her a banana cream pie. There was all kinds of hassle with the base. Mum went to Tesco to get the ingredients, but they didn't have any sweet pie cases, so she got a savory one, a flan base AND a pack of frozen filo pastry, just in case.

The flan was a disaster. Mum had brought a can of cherries and some jelly for me to make dessert for the Sunday roast. Except that the can of cherries didn't spread far enough, and I didn't wait for the jelly to set, so it just soaked straight into the flan case. Oh well, I don't like cherries anyway.

I used the savory pie case to make a quiche, with leftover chicken from the roast. It was my first ever quiche. Chicken, sweetcorn, cheese and lots of paprika. I wanted to put some red onion in as well, for colour, but mum forgot to buy some. It was delicious. I'm very proud of the quiche. Plan on making some more.



So, I used the filo pastry for the banana cream pie. I've never used filo before, but there were instructions in the box. It's very fragile that stuff, but it tasted okay. For the banana cream bit, I tend to use cheesecake topping. It's delicious. And since my sister got me the electric handwhisk I wanted for my birthday, it was easy to mix up. The pie didn't exactly look grand, but it tasted scrumptious.

41 Days to Go!!!

So, I love Christmas. It's my favourite holiday, and I usually spend all year thinking about it. Buying presents - one of my traditional presents is a giftbag with lots of little bits I've seen throughout the year that I think "oh, so-and-so would love that!" And I usually spend all year making bits and pieces too.

However, this year my sister decided to get married and all thoughts for the whole year have been on that, and on completing the Mammoth Secret Project - which I can reveal was for their wedding present. I failed to finish it in time, so they got given Christmas presents instead and the MSP will be their Christmas present. Because of the wedding though, no one in my entire family could spare much thought for Christmas.

But they're married now. Married, honeymooned and back being Mr and Mrs. So we can pay attention to Christmas!!

I love Christmas, did I mention that? I love everything about it. I love the lights and the decoration. I love the presents and the food. I love the planning and shopping and preparation. I love the carols and the traditions. I've been known to buy presents as early as the January before and spend all year wrapping and unwrapping and rewrapping them. This year I have to do everything in 41 days!! Impossible.

I wrote out my Christmas cards the other day. Mostly because I had some I brought in the sales last year, and needed to know how many more to get. I've had a Christmas tree up for a week, undecorated, so that Smudge can get used to it. So far she's been more interested in the box than the tree.



But it's a plain tree. I've been itching all week to decorate it. I asked my friends yesterday whether it was too early to put up Christmas decorations. Meagan said it was ok, but then hers have been up for weeks. My mum's friend Lynn said that if it makes me feel good, then I should do it. Everyone else said it was too early. Bah, bunch of Scrooges. So I asked the Ravellers. Most of them said it's my house and I can do what I want. Unfortunately I was ill yesterday and probably would have fallen over if I'd tried. But I got out the box, and went through what I have.

I don't actually have much. Over the years I've lost a lot of bits, and tinsel and garlands never really last long. So I made a list :D I have a few baubles and things, but not nearly enough for the huge tree my mum gave me this year. I need new baubles, and tinsel, and garlands. I also need more lights, since I appear to not have any. Quick search on ebay and I found these...



Of course I had to buy them. Which means that the day they arrive is the day the decorations go up :D Purple lights!!! How cool is that? When I do my errands on Tuesday I'll go get some tinsel and bits and pieces. I can't wait for Christmas :D I'd have decorations up all year round if I could. But people give me funny looks.

I do have a load of Christmas-themed cross stitches and things in frames, that were in my Christmas box. I'd planned to have them up with the decorations, but I've decided I want them up all year round. My living room is so full of random frames with random pictures and quotes and craftwork and things, it's not like they're going to stand out. And I'm proud of them, damnit.

Hmmm, my Christmas blog appears to have descended into rambling. Not quite what I wanted. But there you go. I love Christmas :D

New Thing: Challenge # 45

Challenge 45 - Survive my sister's wedding without having an episode

On Friday November 5th 2010, my baby sister Jennie got married.



She's known Joe for a million years, and he's always been considered my brother-in-law, so this was just a formality really. But I'm so happy for her and have been for months. They're currently on their honeymoon in Florence.

However... I have big issues with my family. And I have some envy issues with Jennie. I haven't seen most of my family in 6-10 years. I've never met my three nieces or my nephew. I haven't spoken to my father in years, and when I do he treats me like a stranger. And my stepmother goes out of her way to make my life hell. Oh, and two of my ex-boyfriends were going to be there. So I've spent months being terrified about this wedding. I've had nightmares nearly every night. Jen and Neil were both invited, but Neil couldn't make it. So Jen had to support me on her own. I wasn't sure how the wedding would go, but I was pretty sure that I'd end up crying miserably, or having an episode.

But I didn't. No episode. It was a very emotional day. During the ceremony I sobbed like a baby, and felt guilty because only half of it was happiness for Jennie and Joe. A lot of my ceremony-based crying was sadness and misery for myself because I wasn't sure something like that would ever happen to me. But it was a good day. My father ignored me. Said no more than four words to me. I think my stepmother actually said more. But every single member of the rest of the family greeted me with love and happiness. One of my uncles, my favourite uncle, bounded into the church like a big puppy, and clamboured over Jen and Michaela so he could give me a cuddle. My brothers all made an effort to come and talk to me, and introduce me to their families. This was especially important to me, because techincally they aren't my brothers. My father is my stepdad, my stepmother is my stepstepmother and my brothers are her sons, who are technically no relation. But despite all the hassles we've had, I still think of them as my brothers, and it made my heart swell to realise that they still think of me as their sister.

And their children are the most adorable little kiddlings I've ever met. Especially Lucas. My god he's so amazing. He's not even a year old yet, and I want to run away with him!

Anyway, the upshot is, that the wedding wasn't half as bad as I thought it was going to be, and I didn't have an episode. Yes, I'm jealous of Jennie and Joe, but I'm incredibly pleased for them, and can't wait til they have kiddies :-)

Current saved total: £85
Current donated total: £140

Stitching Sundays

I know I haven't been finishing a lot of pieces recently, but I'm working on that. Ironically, now that I've moved the deadline for the Mammoth Secret Project an extra two months back, I can't stop working on it. Cayden says, quite rightly, that knowing I HAVE to do something makes me rebel against it. Now that I don't HAVE to do it, I want to. Typical. But I actually have other projects that need to be dome first now, so I've gotta get a move on and finish some stuff. Starting with this.

Knittaversary

So, Tuesday 26th October was my 2 year Knittaversary. I wrote about it last year. This year, in keeping with the tradition I started with my Crochetaversary, I've made a video. This is every completed knitted project I've ever made. Reasonably impressive. :-)

Wordsmith Wednesdays

Today I'm posting the most recent draft of the first chapter of my stalled novel. I know a few people read my blog, and I'd be very interested in their opinions. Do you want to read more?

Chapter One

Mountains clustered over most of the Elven country of Moreai, all of them reaching the clouds. On the highest mountain of the Colucca range, a wide ledge formed naturally into the side of the rock. A tall, Elven woman stood at the edge of the shelf, looking out over the landscape of her home country. From the horizon in the south, a dark green thread of water, the river Piato, stretched across the landscape until it joined with the lake below. Lake Talia. The green water glittered, the flashes of light reaching the woman’s eyes. At the edge of the lake was the small village of Talia, so close to the base of the mountain that the woman couldn’t see the lights of the homes that she knew were there. She turned back to face the ledge, taking in the flat rock floor. The mountain continued to rise before her, creating a wall sheltering the ledge. Scattered rocks and plants clustered around a small spring that burst through the ground. Rain began to fall softly.

She looked upwards towards the midnight sky. Two bright white full moons illuminated her, making her features clear. A soft, white face with smooth clear skin. Pale blue eyes, flashing with anticipation. Her long, straight black hair fell down her back and her white skin was damp with the moisture in the air. She shivered and pulled a purple robe from the velvet sack beside her. She put it on, gathering its folds around her, then pushed her hair back behind ears that curved into a point. She took a last look out over the country and then began to prepare for the ritual. Reaching into the sack again she pulled out a handful of tall blue candles and placed them at five points in a large circle around the spring. She cleared some pebbles and rocks from the inside of the circle. Reaching out her hand, a thin trail of flame burst from her fingers, lighting the candles. With her magic she traced a fiery circle between them.

She reached into the sack again and pulled out a short silver blade with a white marble handle and a white marble chalice. Footsteps and low murmuring alerted her to the two Elves climbing the track to the mountain shelf and she placed the chalice and blade by the spring before turning to embrace the newcomers. Both were male Elves, as tall as she; one her age and one much older. The older man had the same long, straight black hair as the woman, though his had white streaks betraying his age. He had the same blue eyes, surrounded with subtle lines. He took the young woman into his arms and held her tightly, giving her one soft kiss on each white cheek. The younger man had blond hair, falling in waves to his shoulders. He had deep grey eyes and soft white skin, and he embraced the woman with two kisses on each cheek.

With their greetings complete, the three Elves spread around the inside of the circle, the young Elf to the woman’s right and the old Elf to her left. The female Elf raised her arms to the sky and began the incantation.
“I am Aphra, daughter of Vitus and daughter of Jesslyn. I call upon the Elven magic of my ancestors.”
Her voice echoed over the ledge, spilling onto the deserted mountain.
“I summon all those in past, present and future who will bear witness.”
The young man smiled at her, and all three Elves looked to the sky. Between Xa’s two full moons, a dozen stars grew brighter and slowly closer. The lights removed themselves from the sky, dancing around the gathering like fireflies. The three Elves watched the lights settle to the ground outside the circle of candles. In the blink of an eye, the stars from the sky flashed and became the ghosts of a dozen Elves. A mix of males and females, young and old, all with two things in common. They were all dead, brought back to the land of the living for this ceremony, and they all smiled at Aphra with the loving gaze of family.

When the dozen Elven spirits stood outside the candle of circles, the young male Elf smiled at Aphra again and raised his hands to the sky.
“I am Hayden, son of Nealen and son of Tybida. I call upon the Elven magic of my ancestors. I summon all those in past, present and future who will bear witness.”
The gathering of Elves looked upwards once more and watched as another dozen stars fell to the Earth and joined the circle. Hayden’s ancestors.

The third Elf gazed at the two young Elves proudly. He cast his eyes around those assembled and spoke in a low rumble of a voice.
“I am Vitus, son of Maver and son of Tyfair. I stand here tonight to preside over this handfasting. To join my daughter, Aphra, to this Elf, Hayden.”
He held out his hands, and Aphra and Hayden put their joined hands in his.
“I am father of my clan, this is my right. I stand before these Elves; ancestors of myself and my daughter, and ancestors of an Elf soon to be my son. On behalf of these two, I seek blessings.”
Vitus looked at the Elf spirits gathered, locking eyes with each one and waiting for their smile and nod before moving on to the next. When all the Elves had given their blessings, Vitus let go of the hands he held and reached for the chalice and the blade. He scooped cool, clear water from the spring into the chalice, then turned to his daughter. He took Aphra’s hand, drawing the blade of the athame lightly across her palm. He let nine drops of her blood fall into the chalice, then passed his hand over the wound, healing it with his magic. Vitus turned to Hayden and repeated the process, then stirred the liquid with the athame. The chalice was passed first to Aphra, then to Hayden. They both drank deeply from it, then held hands tightly. Vitus smiled and reached into his robe. From his pocket he pulled two thin strips of silver. The metal was inscribed with runes for love, truth, loyalty and protection.
“Hayden,” he said softly. “Tonight you join with Aphra, to become one. This union is witnessed and blessed by your ancestors. This band is a symbol of your commitment to each other.”
Vitus reached for Hayden’s left arm and wrapped the silver band around his wrist. The metal bent naturally, as though it were made of dough, and the ends fused together when they met, aided by Vitus’s magic. Vitus turned to Aphra and repeated the steps of the ritual, giving her a handfasting band as well.
“And now,” he said, “with the blessings of your ancestors and the mingling of your blood, you are one.”
The couple embraced as Vitus looked on proudly and the ancestors faded one by one.

--

Vitus left the young Elves to their embrace and began to dismantle the circle, but a thundering of heavily booted feet distracted them all. They rushed to the edge of the shelf, Aphra and Hayden still holding hands. Halfway up the mountain track, getting closer and closer to the shelf, was a troop of twenty Human men, all dressed in black. Scabbards were tied to every Human’s belt, and each man held his sword aloft, the heavy weapons reflecting the moonlight. At the head of the troop was a Human a head taller than the others who held his sword in one hand and an ebony wand in the other. The Elves pulled back from the edge of the shelf, and heard the man thunder;
“In the name of my Lord, I purge you.”
Vitus crouched to begin an incantation as Hayden and Aphra reached for their swords. A red beam of light hit the edge of the shelf, shattering the rock as the men climbed up and onto the ledge.

Hayden and Aphra moved into defensive positions in front of the spell-casting Vitus. The leader of the Humans aimed the wand at the wall behind them, sending the red beam into the rock, carving out chunks that fell on the Elves. The men advanced, baring their swords and looks of fury. Aphra glanced briefly at the handfasting band on her wrist, then stepped forward, swinging her weapon to clash against a man’s sword that was coming towards her. She fought hard, bringing her sword forward over and over again, Elven steel meeting Human steel and Human flesh. Beside her, Hayden fought more of the men, keeping pace. Each time her sword rang against a Human’s, Hayden’s sword rang in echo. Hayden caught a sword on the side of his leg, and he stumbled, blood soaking his robe. Aphra pressed into the man who had attacked him, bringing her sword down on his head, cleaving into it. The Human fell. Hayden dragged himself to his feet to cover Aphra’s back. His sword entered the stomach of a man who fell beside his comrade. The battle continued and two more Humans fell; one losing an arm to Aphra’s blade and one losing his head to Hayden’s.

Behind them, Vitus brought his incantation to a close and a raging storm began to climb the mountain. Aphra could hear the thunder getting louder as she turned back to back with Hayden, crossing sword with Human after Human who circled the three Elves. There were six left, while the leader stood at the edge of the shelf and watched. Hayden and Aphra took down another, bringing their swords together through his chest and ignoring the taunts coming from his companions.
“Filthy Elves!”
“Scum of Xa!”
“Waste of flesh!”
“Plague of this land!”

Vitus’s storm reached the mountain shelf and the driving rain drowned out the sound of the taunts. The leader of the Humans moved out of the way of a striking lightning bolt, stepping into shadows. He watched his men fall without compassion, waiting for the perfect moment. He stood, ebony rod and sword waiting for action. Two of his men broke out of the circle and pressed forward to strike. Aphra and Hayden turned as one to block the attack. The leader used the opportunity to move around the edge of the shelf until he stood behind Vitus. The elderly Elf was concentrating on the storm, using its rain to hinder the men and it’s lightning to attack them. He didn’t see the leader aim the ebony wand at his back.

Aphra saw the red beam hit her father. She saw the ball of brilliant white light that was his magic rise from his chest and hover above him. The storm died as the leader pulled a small crystal vial from his pocket. He called “Come!” and the ball of light sank swiftly into the vial. Then, without even looking, he thrust his sword through the Elf’s back. Aphra lunged towards the leader with her sword raised to take his head from his body. The Human dodged her blow easily; she was angry and careless. Her ill-timed attack left her on the ground by her father’s body. The Human glanced at her once, a look on his face that could have been a smirk. Aphra stayed at her father’s side for a moment, leaving the man who rushed her from behind to her husband’s blade.

Another man swung his sword into Hayden’s shoulder and the force slammed him into the wall. His head struck the rock and he slumped to the ground unconsciously. Aphra saw her husband fall, and stood. She flipped her sword out to her left, beheading one of the men who attacked her. She prepared to rush the leader again, but the remaining men surrounded her. As she fought against them, she watched the leader from the corner of her eye. He approached Hayden’s fallen body, bringing the ebony wand and its red beam onto the Elf’s chest. Aphra cried out as Hayden’s magic rose from him. She fell to her knees as the leader arced his sword, slicing Hayden’s head from his shoulders even as he called the magic to the crystal vial.

Aphra’s body went numb. The remaining men drove blades into her from all sides, but she felt no pain. She stood, dropping her sword. Grief and fury coursed through her veins, swelling her magic to dangerous proportions. Her eyes clouded over and she flung out her left hand. A white ray cast from the palm of her hand, hitting the riders to her left in pure, uncontrolled emotional magic. In a matter of seconds, their skin began to sizzle and cook, then disintegrate. The flesh and blood beneath began to boil, and their bones turned to ash. Aphra moved her hand in front of her, sending the white ray across the ledge to hit every remaining Human. They met the same fate and the furious Elf turned her gaze on the leader. The Human who had slaughtered her father and husband glared back at her, the last man standing. He showed no fear in his eyes, no emotion even. Aphra let her arms fall to her sides, the white ray vanishing. The Human met her eyes again, and laughed. She closed her eyes, and then she vanished.

- - -

Food Fridays - Birthday Edition

Last Friday was my birthday. I spent it baking, in preparation for the food-themed celebration the next day.

I made this delicious cheesecake...



The base is chocolate chip cookies. The top is chocolate chip, with swirls of caramel ice cream sauce. Unfortunately, the topping didn't set. It stayed liquid, so the chocolate chips became more of a layer. It was delicious though.

Then I attempted to make a chocolate marshmallow crunch brownie thing.

Problem 1: I don't have a baking tin, so I ended up cooking it in a cake tin.
Problem 2: It took forever to cook, and by the time I gave up it was practically still liquid on the inside.
Problem 3: The marshmallow layer kept rolling off because it was in a cake tin and not a brownie pan, so they all ended up in the middle.



It may have been a disaster as a brownie, but it was scrumptious.



And then came my best bit of baking. Maple nut cookies. They were a little thin, because I think my mixture was too runny so they spread out too far. And they ended up stuck together in a big pile, but I don't have cooling racks and stacked them to cool, like a muppet. But, they are absolutely adorably scrumdiddlyumptious.



In other birthday baking related news, here's my birthday cake.



Jen made it. It was green :D

New Thing: Challenge # 43

Challenge 43 - Drink my age in Sherbert

Okay, so last week I turned 28. Woohoo, I'm old. For a while now I've been toying with the idea of drinking my age in alcoholic shots. My original plan for my birthday celebration was to go the student union and drink 28 shots of my beloved Apple Sourz. Unfortunately this proved farrr too expensive, and the results may not have been too pretty. It's also no fun to drink alone, and the people coming to my birthday celebrations aren't big drinkers. So we went to Taybarns instead.

The drinking-age-in-shots plan went from that, to eating-age-in-profiteroles, to eating-age-in-delicious-ribs, to the ultimate. DRINKING MY AGE IN SHERBERT STRAWS! And not those little piddly arse ones either. The BIG ONES.

That's 28 of them. Unfortunately I didn't succeed. I managed 12 before my tongue started to explode. Very painful. I did get slightly high though.

Current saved total: £80
Current donated total: £135

New Thing: Challenge # 42

Challenge 42 - related to the Mammoth Secret Project

I can't talk much about this challenge, because of the Secret aspect, but I'd narrowed down what was left to do into sections. The challenge was to complete a certain number of sections. I failed.

I do have an excuse though. I ran out of yarn :-( I have yarn coming to me from all over the world now from random lovely Ravellers, so hopefully one day the Mammoth Secret Project will be finished.

Current saved total: £80
Current donated total: £130

New Thing: Challenge # 41

Challenge 41: Dye Yarn

As you know from Challenge 39, I won this yarn and koolaid months ago. And I finally got around to dying it!

My skein collapsed almost right away, which I should have taken as a sign, but I didn't. Because I'm me, and I ignore stuff like that. I mixed up the kool aids and picked these two.

I had visions of a nice red and blue variagated yarn with maybe some splodges of purple. Looking at it now, that blue was never going to work.

It was a fun process, although not if you're my living room carpet. But it didn't turn out like I'd wanted. The blue was invisible, and the red came out pink. Perhaps I used too much water, who knows. But it was done. In my drying cupboard I had a "skein" of pink yarn dying and slowly felting itself together. I put off winding it for ages, because I was convinced it was going to be all felted and matted and one big knot, but it actually came out quite well.

It's not an utterly horrible colour, if you like pink, and there aren't too many destroyed patches. And it's quite nice to work with. I made a patch for my crochet quilt.

I'm definitely going to try dying yarn again, eventually, but I think I'll use a different dye.

Current saved total: £80
Current donated total: £125