HSKS 11 - third week activity

This week's game is a scavenger hunt. Here are my results:

1) Campfire...

I found this ever so cute pattern from CraftyAnna on Etsy



2) Pinecone...

And I found a marvellous pattern for a pinecone at this website.



3) Bowtruckle...

And here's a pattern for a Bowtruckle, which was designed by a Dragonsinger (I suspect it's our very own Rowan Dragonsinger - aka my spoilee)



4) Candle...

Cute little candle pattern



5) Muggle trash...

Did you know that muggles keep monsters in their trash?



6) Water balloon...

I couldn't find a water balloon pattern, but I wanted to stick with my theme so I've bent the rules a little. Here's a water pattern and a balloons pattern




7) Edible plant...

Have some nummy strawberries



8) Creature that lives in the lake...

I'm so adding this kraken to my queue



9) Bird feather...

This time I've picked a gorgeous cross stitch pattern



10) Yarn...

Surprisingly, I couldn't find a pattern to make a ball of yarn, so I'm just going to use this pretty one instead.



11) Hogwarts/house pride item...

I'm going to my LYS to buy green and black yarn tomorrow! This is why. Go Slytherins!



12) Bathing suit...

Finally, here's a delicious old-fashioned bathing suit.

Trouble sleeping

I'm tired. I'm tired all the time. My depression makes me tired, and my anti-depressants make me tired. Constantly tired, every second of every day. So why do I have such trouble sleeping?

When I decide that it's time for bed, I curl up under the quilt and watch an episode of a show, or read a few chapters of a book, then I roll over (usually a few times, one of my many doglike tendencies) and close my eyes. I count. I stay perfectly still and I count my breaths. If I move, I have to restart the count. If and when I reach a certain number, it's obvious I'm not going to fall asleep and I get up to do something.

Occasionally, it doesn't work like that. Occasionally, I try and try and try, and I can't even lay still, let alone count. On those occasions, and actually on most occasions, I start to think. I think about everything. From whether or not I remembered to check a certain website, to what I got up to that day, to what I need to get up to the next day, to whether or not my boyfriend has been in a horrible accident, to whether my friend is doing okay with the whole trying-to-be-single thing, to whether my sister will outgrow her current phase, to why my cat won't come and give me a cuddle, to whether I'm ever going to see my boyfriend again, to how I could sell a kidney, to....

Well, it goes on. And on and on and on. It doesn't stop. Sometimes it's just inane randomness, and sometimes it heads towards the darker stuff. Like, my relationship with my father. And my fears. And all kinds of other things that I just don't like to think about so I try to keep my mind busy all day, but they sneak up on me when I lie down to sleep. And that cloud of depression sneaks up on me. All of a sudden my dark and depressing thoughts turn to how to deal with the darkness and depression. Whether or not I should forget about sleep and get up and do stuff to keep my mind busy again, and try to sleep when I just can't stay awake long enough. Whether or not I can manage without slicing my skin open and watching the blood again. Whether or not I'm going to heat up my binge food, or just stuff it into my mouth cold. Whether or not I'll try one of the other self-injury methods that have been floating around my head for a while now.

This particular time, I've chosen to eat another three portions of my tart from earlier, a big bar of cooking chocolate and half a can of whipped cream. I might try sleeping again in a minute, but if it fails a second time, a binge won't suffice. And I'm trying very, very hard to stop adding scars to my ever-growing collection. So I'm blogging. I'm leaving a nice depressing ramble for all you internet lovelies who pop onto my blog to read about my crafts and my cat. Sorry.

Little Green

Here's a cross stitch I did a while ago. His name is Little Green and I found the pattern in issue 121 of Cross Stitch Crazy magazine. He took lots and lots of work. I actually finished him in May but it's taken me a while to get him sorted and framed.

Apple, bacon and onion tart



This is an apple, bacon and onion tart from Evil Shenanigans and it's delicious. I put a little too much parmesan (twice what the recipe asked for) in the crust, but it tasted fine.

The good news is that the muffins weren't just a fluke, and apparently I can bake quite well. The bad news is that this tart is 8 weightwatchers points a slice, with 8 servings in the tart. Very, very pointy. But very, very delicious.

I Can Bake!!

Here, have some Bacon and Cheddar Muffins...



Since the whole banana cream pie process, I've been wanting to do much more baking. I make the mistake of looking for recipe blogs. Now I have a list of a bajillion recipes I've wanted to try. I started last night with these Bacon and Cheddar Muffins from Evil Shenanigans.

I was a little concerned, because I have a tendency to be catastrophic with my cooking, but it went well. All the ingredients in the right order, no burning, nothing wrong. And they looked great when they came out of the oven. And, even better, they were delicious!!

HSKS - I won a prize!!

Yay, I won one of the two weekly drawing prizes...



I've never dyed my own yarn before, I'm very excited! Of course, I'm also semi-tempted to just drink the kool-aid.

New Thing: Challenge # 29

Challenge 29 - list ten things every day that make you happy.

I so very nearly made it this time. Unfortunately nearly isn't good enough...

Friday

1) Mini aliens
2) Long baths with a good book
3) Cuddles from a kitty cat
4) Finishing off a piece of work
5) Delicious frappes from Caffe Nero
6) Spearmint chews
7) The MSN "you have a message" noise
8) Pizza
9) When Neil pays me a compliment
10) Soft, smooth, easy-to-work with yarn

Saturday

1) PB&Js
2) Friends who bring jam and bread
3) Completing collecting a book series
4) Text messages
5) Killing random beasties on WOW
6) Yarn p0rn
7) Delicious smelling incense/candles
8) Filing paperwork
9) Free gifts with magazines
10) Having a clean and tidy house (without having to clean)

Sunday

1) Come Dine with Me
2) Making lists
3) The smell of freshly cut grass
4) Neil cuddles
5) Sorting and alphabetizing books
6) Donuts
7) Nerd jokes
8) Not having any laundry to do
9) Putting beads in ROYGBIV order
10) Winning a shuntbumping or quidditch match

Monday

1) Getting something to work without needing help
2) Michael McIntyre
3) Receiving swap packages
4) Sleepy Neil texts
5) Chicken McNuggets
6) Learning and new stitch and managing it
7) Ice cold drinks on an uber-hot day
8) Shiny new stationary with clean blank pages
9) Old musty smelling books
10) Cherry tomatoes

Tuesday

1) Weighing less at a Weightwatchers weigh in
2) Losing 8lbs when you expected to have put weight on
3) Sherbert burps
4) Unexpected gifts
5) Winning a raffle
6) A night without nightmares
7) Christmas
8) Colouring in
9) Ripping off a scab cleanly and smoothly
10) Getting 100% on a quiz

Wednesday

1) Brainwaves
2) Finding something to do with a swatch
3) Recognising my own achievements
4)
5)
....

And that's where I ran out of happy.

Current saved total: £55
Current donated total: £90

HSKS 11 - second week activity

WINGO!!



Okay, along the bottom row...

W5 - Hermione Bagnold has been in 11 HSKS, since HSKS 6.

I5 - Gryphon the Great has been on lots of camping trips.

N5 - Clara Clovenhoof plays the trumpet and the piano.

G5 - Phelia Balycastle was born in October like me.

O5 - Celestina Pettigrew brought her owl Tyto to camp.

WINGO BINGO WINGO!!

HSKS - Celeena Cree - the details

Hello, I'm Celeena Cree. I'm a pureblood witch, and I attend Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. This year was my first term (HSKS 10), and I was put in Slytherin by the Sorting Hat. I got into a bit of a scuffle during a fight with a Gryffindor; fool resorted to physical violence and snapped my wand. My new one is a beautiful Willow one, with a dragon heartstring core. It's a nice manageable 9".

I came to attend Hogwarts after I met some fellow students during last year's Quidditch season (HSKS 9). My Montrose Magpie teammates just could not shut up about Hogwarts, so I chose to transfer.

And now I'm making even more friends in Shell Cottage at Summer Camp (HSKS 11). I've been trying and trying to make a successful patronus, and apparently something about this fresh country air has helped. My patronus is a bear!

I'm told it means that I have gentle strength, and stands for introspection and dreaming.

HSKS 11 - WINGO hints

Here are how the WINGO squares apply to me, to help anyone who needs to fill in a gap...

I don't spin my own yarn, I can't afford another addiction.

I've never worked on a summer camp, always wanted to go to one but they don't really have them here in Blighty.

I've been on many, many trains. I travel two hours each way to see my boyfriend a couple of times a month in Preston.

My favourite brand of yarn is Malabrigo.

I only speak English.

I've seen all the HP movies in the theatre.

I don't dye my own yarn.

This is my HSKS so I don't think I count as new.

I have 2 sisters and 3 brothers.

I have 11 items in my queue.

My patronus is a bear - symbol of gentle strength, introspection and dreaming.

I collect monkeys.

My wand got destroyed in a quidditch crash (I landed on my butt and snapped it) so I had to get another one. My new one is 9", made of Willow with a dragon heartstring core.

I've been to a lot of castle, we have hundreds of them in Blighty.

I make stitchmarkers all the time - you can find them in my beading projects under the projects tab.

I live in Newcastle-under-Lyme, England.

I used to go camping all the time when I was younger, not recently though.

I don't play a musical instrument, but I do sing if that counts?

I was born in October.

I brought my cat Pixel to camp.

Bucket Bag

That yarn I made the giant mini alien with? It's called Sirdar Bigga, and it's huge. And since, aside from the giant mini alien, it was beginning to be unlikely I'd ever use it for anything, I decided to make a bucket bag out of it to store yarn in.

Here are some really bad pictures of it...


Ishmael

Months and months ago now I played Mad Scientist (aka Moderator) for a circle of travelling creatures. The idea being you make a body, then you send it on to the next person on the circle, who makes a head for it and sends it on, and so on. You get the body of the person before you and make a head for it, then you get the body and head of the person two places before you. When your creature gets back to you it's travelled all over the world (UK, USA and Korea in this case) and is completely insane looking.




Forgive the horrible pictures. A) I'm useless with a camera, and B) my digital camera is out of batteries.

Creative Writing 101 - Lesson 2

Ok, so I read that lesson and I've decided to give up this course. I'm very good at giving up courses. But I have a reason. This course is more of a lecture. Each lesson is 5-6 pages of telling me about stuff. I'm not looking for that kind of thing. If I wanted to know about different genres, I'd do the research. I'm looking for a course with lots of exercises and tasks. I have a few courses bookmarked, I'll see if any of the others suit me.

Giant mini alien

So, you all saw that adorable mini alien I made for a mystery knit? (I won't bother linking to it, because it's the entry just below this one). Well I decided it was so cute I wanted to make another one, and because I'm just plain weird I decided to do it with the biggest yarn I have. Which turned out to be Sirdar Bigga, a 15mm yarn. For the uninitiated, a normal double knit yarn is about 4mm.

Mini Alien

Since I blog about everything else, I figure I'll show all you lovely people my crafting projects as I do them. Well, the ones I'm especially proud of anyway. I won't go back and show you pictures of everything I've ever made, cos that would be silly, but you can find my stuff on Ravelry or on Facebook.

Anyway, here's my latest pieces. I wanted to do a mystery knit, but when I did a search everything was Mystery Shawl or Mystery Scarf. That wasn't enough mystery for me. I didn't want to have a clue what I was making. So I got my friend Cayden to find and feed me a proper mystery knit. I ended up with this cute little guy...



The pen is to show how small he is. It was only 16 rows. I had Cayden feed it to me in a few rows a day, so it took a few days, but you could easily make dozens in an evening. The original pattern can be found here.

So what do you think? Isn't he just the cutest little beastie ever?

New Thing: Challenge # 28

Challenge 28 - Watch the top ten movies from the year of your birth.

So I went to http://movies.toptenreviews.com/list_1982.htm and found out the top ten movies from 1982.

10) Fast Times at Ridgemont High
9) Tootsie
8) Class of 1984
7) Diner
6) First Blood
5) Poltergeist
4) Fanny and Alexander
3) Conan the Barbarian
2) Ghandi
1) E.T. The Extra Terrestrial

And, despite how incredibly dull half of them were, I watched them all. Apart from Fanny and Alexander because I couldn't find it anywhere. So I compromised and watched the top five family movies from the same year as well.

6) Flight of Dragons
5) Secret of NIMH
4) Annie
3) The Last Unicorn
2) Dark Crystal
1) E.T. The Extra Terrestrial

As you can see, the top movie is the same, so instead of watching it twice I just watched the 6th top family movie.

So challenge passed, in a round about kind of a way.

Current saved total: £55
Current donated total: £85

Banana Cream Pie, take 3

So I've already mentioned my banana cream pie exploits. The first pie was a disaster, and that second one was much much better. It looked a million times better, and it tasted nice, but I just couldn't get over the custardy texture. So I looked for a creamier recipe and decided to make a cheesecake filling.



The decoration on top is a bit sloppy, but I was in a rush to try it. It was scrumptious. It was my first ever cheesecake, and I think the ratio of cheese and sugar was a bit off. There was a definite too-tart-too-cheesy taste to it. Next time I'm gonna swap 50g of cheese for icing sugar. But it was a success!

Now to find something else to make...

Creative Writing 101 - Lesson 1

In an attempt to sort out my writing block, I've found a few free online writing courses I'm going to do. I'm starting with this one.


WHY DO YOU WANT TO WRITE?

1. Do you just love creating stories and writing them down?

I do. I dream some very strange dreams, and sometimes they trigger stories. I have lots of different characters and plots in my head and I want to make them into stories, so that other people can read and enjoy them. When I try and speak them, it's nothing but random ramblings. I want to be able to separate them and make them into good pieces of work.

2. Maybe you want to earn some extra income from your writing.

Who wouldn't want some extra money? And who wouldn't want to be able to do it by doing something they love and enjoy?

3. Would you like to be a full-time, professional writer?

I've always wanted to be a writer. I would love to be able to support myself through my writing. I was always told though, that writing isn't a proper career, and that I needed to do something else. I think it's knocked my confidence a little.

4. Do you have a story (or more) you are bursting to tell?

Hundreds. My brain is buzzing, constantly.

5. Is there something important you want to say, and you think creative writing is the best way to express it?

Not really. I use writing to get out things that are bothering me though. I can often be found scribbling a sentence in my code when I'm in a situation that's annoying me. Just to get it out.

6. Were you good at writing at school, and would like to develop that talent?

My handwriting was atrocious, and still is. But my creative writing wasn't too bad. I was told in high school that my writing was appalling and I'd never be published. Sometimes I want to go back to that teacher with the big stack of books that have my name in them.

7. Have you tried selling a story or novel and been disappointed?

I enter competitions and things, and I've had some stuff published in anthologies. I've been paid for one, but it cost me more than I was paid to get a copy of it. I've never submitted work to publishers though. Too scared, I think.

8. Perhaps you'd like to be famous, like J.K. Rowling or Stephen King.

I'm not sure. I'd like to be well-read, but the idea of fame is kind of scary.

9. You feel a bit powerless in real life, so you'd like to create your own world.

Oh definitely. My depression makes it hard for me to control things. In my stories I'm in control. I decide the way things turn out. It's very satisfying. I just wish I had more control over my own life.

10. You want to teach a moral or an idea, and you think coating the pill with fiction will make it more palatable.

Not really. I have my opinions, and my own morals and ethics, but I don't want to push those down other peoples' throats. They can believe what they like.

There's nothing in this next bit for me to answer, but the information is very true, and I thought I'd share it with any other writers who read my blog.

ADVANTAGES OF CREATIVE WRITING

1. There is always satisfaction in learning to do something well.

2. There is enormous pleasure in planning, producing and polishing a project.

3. Creative writing is a pastime open to a wide variety of people. You need not be especially fit, rich, goodlooking or unusual.

4. Creative writing can be practised in quiet moments with a minimum of equipment. A powerful computer and printer is very useful, but you can still be a writer if you have access to a pencil, pens and paper.

5. You can write at home, if you like, or during the lunch-hour at work.

6. You can preserve characters, memories or ideas for yourself and others.

7. Creative writing can be used to pass on knowledge.

8. Writing is power. You create your own world, or your own version of the existing one, and in that world you are God.

9. Writing is a useful outlet for all those heists you planned and were too respectable to carry out.

10. Finally, writing will teach you discipline and give you a great deal of enjoyment.


DISADVANTAGES OF CREATIVE WRITING

1. To take up creative writing you will probably have to give up something else, even if it's just watching the Friday movie on TV.

2. It can be difficult to concentrate on your plot if the family is rioting in the same room.

3. Like any other pastime, writing can take over your life - if you let it.

4. Some writers find it difficult to get family and friends to take their work seriously.

5. It's hard work.

6. You can end up with a variety of aches and pains and even, after years of determined keyboarding, intractible RSI.

7. Creative writing is a rather "invisible" talent. To share it with someone else, that person must have the time and inclination to spend a good deal of time listening or reading. Other talents, such as musicality, cooking, painting and dancing are easier to share!

Note how there are more advantages than disadvantages?

WRITING EXERCISE: Choose one of the basic types of writing covered in this lesson. Write an informal essay or letter explaining why this kind of writing appeals to you and outlining a project you would like to produce. Use your natural style, and try to write steadily and without stopping.

Fan-fiction is a creative form that's reasonably new, as far as I'm aware. It's certainly new in my own sphere. Since the popularity boom of the internet though, it's everywhere. Almost any television show or movie or book that you can think of has fan-fiction somewhere on the internet. I love the idea of taking characters that I'm familiar with and creating new stories for them. They come with their own background, their own history, their own stories, their own interaction with other characters. It gives you a basis to start with, a stepping stone, a launch pad. I've started fan-fiction before. Somewhere in my archives of semi-started projects, there's a Harry Potter story and a Buffy the Vampire Slayer story. One day I'll get around to finishing them. My problem is that they're intended to be novels. In this rambling informal essay, I'm meant to be outlining a project I'd like to produce. I'm going to start with a short story. I'll choose a television show or movie that I'm familiar with, and draft a short story for one or some of the characters. At least, I'll attempt to. I'm certainly a fan of enough different shows to have a wide choice available. I guess it depends on the genre I want to work in.

Any suggestions for fan-fic topics? Keep your eyes peeled for the results. I promise I'll post something, eventually.

HSKS 11 - first week activity

* Knit or crochet or both?

I knit and crochet, as well as latchhook and bead. I've also started doing chainmail, I make things out of felt, and I'm looking to do more stuff with sewing and fabrics.

* Brands you would like to try but don't have easy access to

MALABRIGO!!! Red Heart Super Saver, Peaches and Cream. All brands that I discovered while I was in America for a few months last year, but you can't get over here in the UK.

* Favorite fibers/least favorite fibers

I adore merino. I absolutely love the stuff. I don't really dislike any fibers. I'm happy with anything from wool to acrylic. Don't really like eyelash yarn though, it's tough to work with.

* Favorite colors/least favorite colors

Favourite colour is purple. Second is purple. Third is purple. Then black, then silver. Least favourites... don't really like neon colours, or pastelly pinks.

* Yarn weight preferences

Any and everything.

* Favorite projects

I like things that are quick. Washcloths, toys, etc. I'm doing some big projects, but they take a lot of effort. I like things that are over quickly and I can get that "I've accomplished something" feeling.

* Favorite gadgets

Stitching gadgets? I dunno. Actually, I don't know about non-stitching gadgets either. Only Gadget that springs to mind is my old cat. I miss her :(

* Favorite designers

Don't really pay attention to who's designing what. I just like stuff.

* Salty or Sweet or...?

Both. I have a big sweet tooth, but I like my nuts too :-)

* Tea or Coffee or...?

I don't like coffee. I drink the occasional cup of tea, but nothing fancy. Just ordinary tea, with sugar and too much milk. I'm more of a hot chocolate drinker. I loooovvveee hot chocolate.

* Allergies

Nothing relevant. I'm allergic to bandaids/plasters.

* Other things you like, i.e., buttons, pens, fabric, stitchmarkers, etc.

I like beads, buttons, ribbons, stationary, pens, monkeys, anything purple, magnets, frames I can hang on walls, books.

* Currently Craving

My friend and I are going to a local all-you-can-eat restaurant in a few hours, and I'm craving the delicious, mouthwatering gammon they have there.

* Where you might have wish lists (Loopy Ewe, Amazon, Etsy)

I don't have wishlists on sites, but I have one on my blog here. There's a link on the sidebar.

* Measurements (feet for socks, wrists, head circumference)

Uhmmmm, I don't have the foggiest. I'll measure later and write them down.

* Whatever else you'd like to share!

My new kitty is adorable :-D

HSKS 11

Today HSKS 11 Summer Camp begins. I'm in Shell Cottage, and I'm swapping parcels with Rowan Dragonsinger from Black Lake Bungalow.

Just for general purposes... here is a link to my wishlist and here is a link to a special information for swap partners page.

Although I'm pretty sure that Rowan has already checked my blog in great detail. I'm about to go spy on her now.

New Thing: Challenge # 27

Challenge 27 - complete a whole sudoku book (2 week challenge)

This was going very well, until I reached the medium section of the book. I thought I was pretty good at sudoku, but it turns out I'm only good at the easy ones. I'm not giving up on the book, or the puzzles, but it's gonna take me a whole lot longer than 2 weeks.

Current saved total: £50
Current donated total: £85

Pet changes

A few weeks ago I had two pets. Alfred Hitchcock and Sir Reginald Fortescue, otherwise known as the Beastie Boys...



Then Alfie decided to escape for a bit of an adventure and hasn't come home yet. And Reggie has had to be rehomed, due to landlady conflicts. However, I'd like to introduce the newest addition. This is Pixel.


A family on the other side of town found her in their shed with a load of new kittens. The kittens have been adopted, but nobody wanted poor Mummy. She's a little bit odd looking. Her head looks too small for her body; she still has pregnancy and nursing plumpness. And she's very loud - partly because her babies were only taken away yesterday. But she seems to be settling in well so far.

I haven't given up hope on Alfie. There are posters all over town, and I'm still looking for him.

Quite possibly the cutest thing I've ever seen...

Not a Good Fortnight

Things are not going so well at the moment. Generally, I'm happy and healthy and getting on with things and my depression is under control. But things keep going wrong.

As you may have seen from a previous blog post, Neil's brother Paul was killed last week. The cortege of 7 coffins that were repatriated and paraded through Wootton Bassett on Tuesday? One of those was Paul. Neil seems to be coping okay. In theory he's going back to work on Monday, but we'll see. I'm worried about Neil, and I'm being affected by every news article about another soldier or marine that is killed. And they keep dying.

On Tuesday my kitten Alfie went missing. I'm down in Basingstoke with my family, so Jen has been feeding the Beastie Boys. When she went around on Tuesday, one of the windows was open too wide, and Alfie was nowhere to be seen. I wish I hadn't left the window open, but it was only open a crack and it was too stiff for Alfie to push. Apparently he got stronger :-(

And then there's Michaela. Michaela is my twelve year old sister. For months she's been having abdominal pains, and had been diagnosed with period pains, then with swollen stomach glands, then with a urinary infection. She went for an ultrasound to check her urinary system, and they found a 5cm cyst on her ovary. She had to wait for a gynecologist's appointment and last week the gyno arranged for her to have an operation to remove the cyst.

Yesterday my Mum and I took Michaela to the local hospital, and we waited with her during pre-op blood pressure tests and billions of questions. Mum went down when they knocked her out, then Mum and I waited impatiently while the surgeon cut her open.

It was a little funny when she came back; she was very very stoned. Giving everyone these big dopey grins and waves, and was convinced she saw a cat on the ward. Eventually the consultant came around to tell us that Michaela had two very healthy ovaries. This was a relief, because there was concern that one of the ovaries would have needed removing. However, the consultant then informed us that there was no cyst. There never had been a cyst.

Mum's furious. So is Michaela. She was cut open for nothing. So now I'm sat on the sofa in Mum's living room, and Michaela is on a bed that the neighbour brought down for us. She's in horrible pain, and there's nothing I can do to help her. I kinda wish I'd stayed at home. At home I couldn't have helped. Here there's nothing I can do. I'm angry at the hospital, surely they should have done another scan, to check the state of the cyst? It had been 4 weeks since the first one.

So there you have it. Oh, add my best friend's relationship issues, another best friend who's in crisis over uni and emotion and depression and counselling and everything else, and a constant headache, and ankle pain that won't go away. Things are just generally shit right now, and I wish they'd get better.

I suppose there is some good news though, I got a haircut...

New Thing: Challenge # 26

Challenge 26 - Retry 10 foods you know you don't like.

The logic behind this challenge being that people's taste buds change. So, I retried some foods.

Turkish delight - my dislike for this is more psychological, because it was my Dad's favourite sweet when I was little. I'd eat it if it was the only thing in the house (foods like this are classified as Emergency Foods), but I wouldn't choose it over other foods.

Olives - I got a Subway on my way down to my Mum's and asked the guy to put a single olive on it. When I had a chance, I opened the sandwich, picked up the olive, bit into it and pulled a horrendous face. GROSS! Hate it so much I couldn't even swallow it.

Licorice - I like the strawberry stuff, but the black stuff is still icky icky icky.

Spring rolls - comes under the Emergency Food classification.

Onion bhaji - kinda nice. Didn't really have much of a flavour.

Chocolate raisins - Emergency Food. I prefer my raisins before they become raisins. That's grapes, right?

I think there was something else that I tried, but I can't remember what it is. I failed the challenge anyway. No more icky foods for Cleo.

Current saved total: £50
Current donated total: £80

Banana Cream Pie

So, when I was in Maine last year, I tried banana cream pie for the first time at Thanksgiving. It is absolutely delicious. And I decided that I wanted to try making one. This week, while at my mother's, I finally got around to it. Basically because most of the ingrediants are things like flour and sugar and butter and milk. The sort of things that normal people have in the back of a cupboard, but I don't.

First of all I tried this recipe. Several things went wrong. The pie crust I brought from Sainsbury's got broken up on the way home, I forgot to buy vanilla but figured it wouldn't make much difference (I was wrong) and then there was the cooking. I stirred constantly, but I'm not used to stirring and didn't realise you needed to scrap the bottom of the pan. Seems like common sense now, but there you go. So the filling had burnt bits in it, and no vanilla. Then the recipe called
for baking it, and the bananas went all gross. It was digusting. The top of the filling congealed, but the rest of it was the same and still gross.

But, I REALLY liked that banana pie, and I wanted to try again. Today was take two. I used this recipe.

I remembered the vanilla this time, and even though I used caster sugar instead of granulated like the recipe called for, and only 3 eggs, because i didn't read it properly, this time I didn't let it burn, and it was delicious. Well, the filling was. I put it all together and it looks liked this...



Even before tasting it's a billion times better than attempt number one. Taste wise, it was yummy. A little strange though. I don't like cold custard, ever since a childhood incident, I've never been able to stomach it. I tend to avoid cold custard desserts, so I don't think Marnie's pie at Thanksgiving was a custardy one, but this pie I made is. I ate it, and it tasted nice, but it was very strange eating a custardy dessert after so many years of avoiding it. I'm gonna see if I can get a different recipe.

Meanwhile, here are the baking lessons I've learned:

1) scrap the bottom of the pan while stirring
2) vanilla may be small, but it's a very important ingredient
3) egg yolks are very hard to separate from egg whites
4) "stirring constantly" means stirring constantly - get all the ingredients ready BEFORE you start
5) wait for the filling to cool before you add the cream to the top,
or the cream will melt ten seconds after you take the photograph

I want to try more baking. I have plenty of recipe books at home. Maybe it's time I got that flour and sugar and stuff that everyone has in their cupboards.

New Thing: Challenge # 25

Challenge 25 – Name 50 animals that begin with T in 15 minutes

This challenge is impossible. I failed it the first time round, with the letter S, and I failed it this time. I got about seven.

Tiger
Turtle
Tortoise
Terrapin
Tiger shark
Tadpole
Tapir

But then I decided to Google it to find some more. It’s practically impossible to get fifty. So, in my official capacity as boss, I changed the rules. 25 animals in 15 minutes. And I got my mum to pick a different letter for me. P.

Portuguese Man of War
Pig
Parrot
Peacock
Poodle
Panda
Perch
Pot Belly Pig
Polar Bear
Python
Penguin
Platypus
Pigeon
Porcupine
Peregrine Falcon
Purple Emperor Butterfly
Painted Lady Butterfly
Pterodactyl
Panther
Persian Cat
Parakeet
Parrotfish
Palomino Horse
Pit Bull
Piranha

So, I passed.

Current saved total: £50
Current donated total: £75

Rest in Peace

June 22nd 2010 @ 0200

I can’t sleep. I didn’t enough yesterday, thanks to getting to sleep at dawn and being woken up at 9 by the rabbit peeing on me. I figured I’d be asleep by ten o’clock. But nope. Here I am, awake, and feeling downright lousy.

Neil texted me earlier this evening, to tell me that his brother had died. Paul Warren was a marine with the 40th Commando in Helmand in Afghanistan. On June 21st 2010 he was killed during a grenade attack on his base. He was only 23.

I didn’t know Paul well, because he was usually away while I was there, and when he was there we didn’t really speak. But I am gutted. Amongst many, many different emotions and thoughts whirling through me at the moment, I’m worried about Neil. He doesn’t do emotion well, and grief is most definitely an emotion. A very strong one. At the moment he’s busy sorting his parents out, and hasn’t let it get to him, but it will. In a day or two it’ll hit him, and I have no idea how he’ll cope. He withdraws when he episodes, he closes off. I’m terrified what’ll happen now.

I wish I could hold him. I don’t know if he wants to be held right now, but I want to do whatever he needs. I’ll listen, I’ll hold him, I’ll let him cry, I’ll let him ignore me for a while. That last one is a dangerous path though. I don’t want to lose him. I really, really don’t want to lose him. I don’t want him to withdraw so far that he disappears, and with him that’s a real possibility. I won’t bug him. I’ve told him that I’m here for him, he knows that I’ll do anything I can. I won’t pester him if he doesn’t want to talk, but I will make sure he texts me at least once a day to let me know he’s alright. I’m scared. I’m so sorry about Paul, but I’m very, scared for Neil. Does that make me a bad person?

I feel horrible about Paul, and about how he died. I feel guilty, because I don’t even know why British troops are in Afghanistan. I have absolutely no idea. I don’t pay attention to current affairs. Especially stuff like wars and death. So, not only did Paul get killed defending his country and serving his queen, but the people back home don’t even know why. That makes me feel horrible.

I don’t think Neil will want me at the funeral – although I wouldn’t hesitate going if he did want me to. But I feel like I need some way to honour Paul’s memory. So I’ve been browsing the Support Our Soldiers website. There are lots of things I can do. I’m going to make up a care package to send to a soldier out there, and I’m going to write letters. One of the things that the site suggests is Thank You letters. The soldiers love receiving them, to remind them what they’re fighting for. I’m going to write one. Two. Hundreds. I didn’t know Paul, I didn’t know why he was there, but I will honour him.

New Thing: Challenge # 24

Challenge 24 – Do 50 writing prompts in one day

Attempt 1 (Tuesday 15th June 2010)

Prompt 1: Word exercise. 1) Choose a word at random. Any word. The first one that comes into your mind. Open a dictionary and let your finger fall on a word. Write down the word. 2) Write down a type of flower: orchid, rose, violet, whatever. 3) Write down a human quality that you particularly admire, such as courage or humility or intelligence. 4) Now write three sentences using all three words in each sentence. This is a timed exercise. You have three minutes. GO!

Alien, orchid, courage

It took a lot of courage for the alien to taste the orchid, when you consider that on his planets most plants were poisonous.

He stood at her door, feeling like an alien in this town, holding the orchid he’d brought for her, and gathering the courage to ring the bell.

The alien took his place on the platform and looked out at the crowd of humans who had gathered to watch him receive the Orchid of Courage.

Commentary... I’m completely going to fail this challenge. I can’t even get past the first damn prompt. I’m a perfectionist when it comes to writing. I can’t just complete each prompt with rubbish. If it’s no good I delete it and start again. I’ve attempted five different prompts already, and not actually completed a single one. Technically, I finished prompt one. The prompt was to write three sentences, not to have a piece of writing triggered by one of them. But that was the whole point of the prompt. The whole point of all the prompts is to trigger a piece of work. Do I leave it at the sentences? Or do I write something?

Prompt 2: Trigger word – naughtiness

Naughtiness Madness Neediness
Emptiness Blankness Clearness
Darkness Stillness Testiness
Blackness Prettiness Weariness
Senselessness Ugliness Aggressiveness
Happiness Greyness
Friendliness Attractiveness

It’s only the naughtiness that holds back the darkness.
The senselessness that haunts me.
My neediness and friendlessness.
My weariness and testiness.
Nothing breaks through the bleakness.

Day after day the emptiness is endless,
And the only thing that brings me out,
The only thing that saves me from the madness,
Is the clearness and happiness that naughtiness brings.

Prompt 3: Change the ending of another writer’s work.

“For never was a story of more woe, than this of Juliet, and her Romeo.” – Shakespeare

Two lovers, two young and handsome lovers.
Their families at war and their romance forbidden.
Tender kisses and whispered sweet nothings,
Desperately kept secret.

A friar and a handmaiden entrusted with the secret,
That could tear a dozen lives asunder.
Brothers and kinsmen fighting in the streets.
Fathers and mothers arranging unwanted marriages.
Chaos and disaster disrupt the flush of fresh love.

One fight, one death, one crime, one sentence.
One banishment. One heartbreak.
One mock death to perform.
One heartbroken lover rushing to the bedside...

But let us pause for a moment,
And contemplate the consequences
Of the star-crossed lovers’ actions.

Does Romeo’s broken heart take him to his grave,
Followed swiftly by Juliet’s real death?
Or does Juliet awake a second before Romeo’s kiss?
Are our young and handsome lovers reunited?
Do they face their families, protest their love?
Perhaps such desperate actions make stubborn parents think.
Perhaps feuding families are soothed and calmed,
By their star-crossed heirs.
Perhaps peace comes to Verona, and this tale,
Of Juliet and her Romeo, is one of love, and not woe.

Attempt 2 (Wednesday 16th June 2010)

Okay, so yesterday didn’t go too well. Actually, it wasn’t too bad, because I did manage to create two poems that, with a little bit of work, will be pretty good. Which is good news, because I haven’t written anything new in months. Heck, in years. But I didn’t finish the challenge. Didn’t get anywhere near. I got distracted by visitors and grocery shopping and junk food. So, let’s have another go.

Prompt 1: Poetry Express 1 – Talk to Animals (and Stars): Write a poem addressed to some animal, object, place or maybe even to a person, whom you don’t know or expect to read this. You could write to your cat, to a lemon, to a trout, to Madonna, to Martha Stewart, to the Empire State Building, or...

This sort of poem is called an apostrophe. William Blake’s ‘The Tyger’ and Walt Whitman’s ‘To a Locomotive in Winter’ are examples of apostrophe poems. Keep your poem between six and sixteen lines long.


To My Laptop

You see so much of what I do,
I have no secrets I can keep from you.

You know where I go, which internet sites,
The pages of my diary, the words that I write.

The games that I play when I’m overly bored,
The music I download, the pictures I hoard.

Everything I own and everything I do,
My passwords and secrets are all locked inside you.

Prompt 2: Poetry Express 2 - Shift Perspectives: Write a companion poem for the apostrophe poem you wrote for the last exercise, this time writing from the perspective of whomever or whatever you addressed. Again, keep your poem between six and sixteen longs.

The Laptop’s Reply

You are right, my friend, I do know what you do,

This one isn’t working. I know what I want to say, kind of. I’m just very out of habit with the rhyming and the rhythm. It doesn’t HAVE to rhyme of course, but having written the first poem in rhyming couplets I really want this one to match. I’ll take a break and try again in a bit...

It’s official. Challenge failed. Everyone I spoke to said that 50 prompts in one day was far too many, so it’s gone back in the box as “50 writing prompts in one week”. I did get some writing done though, which is always good.

Current saved total: £45
Current donated total: £75