Project 200 - 59/141

So I finished this several days ago, but only just realised it was a Project 200 piece.

They're lovely and warm, although a little bulky to really be doing anything with. But they'll keep my hands warm while I'm outside, and still let me use my phone.



59 down
141 to go

Project 200 - 58/142

And here's another little one. Hurt my fingers working on this guy. The actual crochet wasn't too bad, but the sewing up was hell.



58 down
142 to go

Affected by my dreams

It's kind of disturbing how much you can be affected by your dreams. Last night I had a dodgy dream (as usual). I was in a relationship with a guy, and we were both wizards who were victimised by the local community. For most of the dream we were trying to protect our home and ourselves from attack. That part was kinda scary, but during the whole thing I was loved. He was absolutely crazily in love with me, and that feeling was there the entire time. I felt loved, I felt wanted, I felt cared for. And he was always hugging me, and kissing me, and checking on me.

And then I woke up.

I hate waking up.

Now I'm in the real world, which is just as scary. I still get victimised in the street for who I am, but I don't have cool magic to compensate. And I'm alone. I have more friends than I did have, but I'm alone. Not loved, not wanted, not cared for. Not in that sense. There isn't a man I can turn to for a cuddle at any moment. No one to kiss me, or hold me. And now I'm utterly overwhelmed with sadness and loneliness and misery.

I have things to do today, but all I really want to do is cry. Curl up in bed and cry, because I feel so alone and so sad. All because of a sodding dream.