Life update

It occurred to me that while I've been posting about my new things, and lots of lists and things, I haven't actually given you much of an update about my life. So here we are.

Since I made the decision to drop out of university, I haven't been to any classes. I've spent my time sleeping during daylight hours - which is much more comfortable - and stitching and reading wonderful websites. That and making a trip to Boston and New York, but you know all about that if you read my blog regularly.

Emotionally I haven't had an episode, but I've had little attacks of edgy. Mostly due to tiredness and trouble sleeping, nightmares, homesickness. All the usual suspects. I really really really cannot wait to get home. I miss home. I miss the people, and my stuff and my bed. I miss crunchies, and bacon sandwiches, and charity shops and the buses and all kinds of stupid little things. I miss my brownies, and I miss Jen, and I miss Neil. I just wanna go home. And it'll be soon. 20 days until my flight to England, another 7 days after that til I get home to Stoke. Spending Christmas with my mum and sisters. Which should be... fun. Lol. I love them both dearly, but sometimes they get a little much to handle. We'll see how it goes I guess.

Physically things aren't bad. I have my constant headaches - but Ibuprofen tends to take care of that. I used to be concerned about the amount of Ibuprofen I was taking, but it's not too bad now. I still take it daily, but it's down to 3 pills a day. Usually in the morning with my anti-depressant. My ankle has been aching a whole lot, which concerns me because I haven't actually been overusing it. Maybe it's the New York trip catching up on me. I don't know. I'm pretty sure that it hurts more here in America, so maybe when I get home it'll ease up. Neil keeps telling me to go see the dr about it. I might, although I'm pretty sure he's just going to tell me I need to lose weight. Which is true I guess. But that isn't going to help my ankle in the meantime.

I am going back to Weightwatchers in the new year though. I'm comfortable with my curves. I like my figure. But I am never going to able to have children the weight I am now. With my dodgy ovaries it's almost a physical impossibility. And so I go to lose weight. With pictures of little babies all over the fridge and my wallet. There are other benefits to losing weight. Smaller wedding dress, less pressure on my ankle, fewer fat-related problems, easier to find clothes in my size, more energy. I know all this. I just don't like dieting. I like my food damnit!! I like to eat whole tubs of ice cream in one sitting. I like going back for seconds and thirds. I don't like dieting. But I guess my desire to be a mother is stronger.

At the moment I'm sat here on the sofa of our currently santa's-grotto-looking common area - Heather came home from Thanksgiving and put up all kinds of twinkly lights - watching some shows on Hulu. In a few minutes I'm going to get dressed, then go over to the cafeteria (which reminds me, I had a dream about the cafeteria - how screwed up is that?) to get carbohydrate-laden breakfast. Pancakes and waffles here I come!! After that I have errands to run. Printing, yarn store, post office, Walmart. Need to get a bigger suitcase.

I did a practice pack the other day. I brought a medium sized suitcase from a yard sale a month or so ago and I needed to see if it was big enough. I can get everything packed in that and the large one I came with, but only if I don't take the comforter Neil brought me online and only if I take my backpack as carry on as well as my purse. I really don't wanna do that. I kinda want to take the comforter back, mostly 'cause it was a present from Neil. And I would prefer to take as little carry on as possible, mostly because I'll be more comfortable while I'm waiting and transferring and things. So, we go to Walmart to buy a new suitcase. A bigger suitcase. As far as I can tell though, unless I leave the rest of my clothes behind (and I've already cut them down by half) I'm still only going to be able to resolve one issue. Unless I get really really good at packing. Again, I'll have to see. I really like the comforter.

I'm rambling. Completely. It's very early in the morning and I've been up since 5pm yesterday (with a coupla hours of napping on the sofa). According to the way I've been living, this is mid evening for me. And I'm about to go out and be busy for the rest of the day. Red Bull here I come.

I should stop typing. Stop blogging. I have nothing to say. I'm just rambling and typing nonsense. But I like to type, and I have nothing to really type at the moment, so I'm typing nonsense and rubbish. Lol. You were warned. There is a disclaimer on my blog. You were warned there would be nonsense and rambling.

Ok, I'm going now.