Happy Birthday N

Today is my handsome boyfriend's 26th birthday. Because he is who he is, he doesn't like to celebrate his birthday, and so he's at home playing computer games and sending me dirty texts, and I can't celebrate it with him. So, I'm going to celebrate it here in my own special way. By getting ridiculously mushy and telling you all why I love him.

We've been through a lot, and we've broken up several times. We both suffer from depression and (I'm sure I've mentioned this before), while mine makes me desperately need people, his makes him close off and withdraw. Which makes it very difficult for us at times. Very very difficult. Especially since I'm a very needy person. Ideally I'd love to have a boyfriend who showered me with compliments and romantic gestures and things. I don't have that, but I do have N. And, despite everything he does to drive me crazy, I wouldn't swap him for anyone. Except maybe Jensen Ackles :D

Anyway, the things I love about N...

- he's an uber geek.

- he wears geeky t-shirts.

- if a jingle or song comes on, he does these silly little dances.

- the fact that he's a bigger chocoholic than me (he dipped chocolate chunks in chocolate fondue).

- he's my proof of love at first sight. The second I saw him in that train station, I knew I wanted to be his.

- his girly soft smooth skin.

- the way his eyes are sometimes blue, sometimes hazel, sometimes green.

- that I can read things in his eyes he doesn't even know he feels.

- when he's playing his computer games, and I'm on his bed reading or knitting, he'll turn to me after each fight/round to check I'm ok, or rub my feet, or lean over and kiss me.

- the way he'll rub my shoulder or kiss the top of my head every so often when we're snuggled watching telly.

- our first date was a Doctor Who exhibit at a science museum.

- if he's walking up the stairs behind me, he can't resist grabbing my ass.

- our sex life is just.... wow!

- he shares/indulges my kinks and fetishes.

- that smug grin he gets when he's made me orgasm.

- that vicious look he gets when things are gonna get violent.

- his amazing ability to rub my aches and pains til they don't hurt anymore.

- the fact that when I'm around him, none of my problems or worries seem so bad.

- that he's the only person in the world who can make my brain shut the hell up.

- his kisses make my spine melt.

- he has a high pain threshold ;)

- a month after we got together, bailiffs showed up at my door (for reasons we won't get into) and while I cried, N handed over his credit card.

- he skipped down the street with my baby sister and my best friend's boyfriend.

- he doesn't compliment me very often, but when he does everything inside me gets warm and glowy.

- he takes care of me. He tells me to take my pills, and checks that I get enough to drink.

- he lets me curl up against him and lean on him, even when he's not really in the mood.

- he doesn't mind that I snore like a baby elephant, or that I toss and turn in my sleep.

- he likes my freckles.

- i have never felt like I have to keep secrets from him. In fact, I physically can't. When we met I had some pretty big secrets, and I told him almost instantly. I can tell him anything, and he never judges me.

- he loves me, despite my craziness, clinginess and insanity.

- his long, soft, white fingers. Geek fingers, completely uncalloused.

- he can fiddle with my laptop for five minutes and make it work a billion times better.

- cows.

- I even love the fact that he won't eat fruit and veg.

- his delicious ass :D I'm just as incapable of grabbing his.

- although he likes spending his birthday alone, last year he came to help me move.

- he admits when he's been an ass (sometimes).

- the way his hair looks after he's had a shower.

- how safe I feel when he holds me.

- that, even though I'm bigger than him, I feel feminine when I'm with him.

- his slightly crooked grin.

- his belts.

- his accent. The way he says certain words. And "t'other".

- the way he tastes.

I could keep writing this list forever. I love everything about him. I think I even love that he drives me insane all the time. I love that he shows his mushiness in checking I'm ok, and kissing the top of my head, even though I moan that he's not as mushy as me.

I need to stop now. He's requested some photos for his birthday. Dirty perv. Actually, that's another thing I love about him.