Various bits and pieces

So, what's been happening in the wonderful world of your friendly neighbourhood rambler?

Well, GKL and I got over our little blip. She'd had a horrendous day (which you can read about here) so I wasn't quite so mad about the whole thing. I was still a little indignant because if she'd been here at twelve like she was supposed to be, her whole horrendous day wouldn't have happened. But, it's in the past. We've been shopping since then.

In other news, N came down for the weekend. Yes, I said goodbye to him after the New Year fiasco, but then I had an episode and texted him. And then he came down. I wasn't sure if he was actually going to come down but then there he was walking towards me in the train station, looking as scrummy as ever. I was nervous as hell and blabbed nonstop until we were back in my room and he kissed me just to shut me up I think. We had a lovely weekend. He fixed my libido, he came out to an antique fair and to dinner with me and GKL (which in itself shows he's being good cos he's not a social person at all). He was really sweet and good all weekend. So? Does this mean we're back together?

Not exactly. He loves me, he told me as much. Several times. But we're just going to see how things go for now. Which, as I see it, means I get all the joy and loveliness of dating him, and I get to date other people too. All good. Plus, I have a feeling that if I get another boyfriend, or go on another date, N will get ridiculously jealous and things may change anyway.

Next - my student loan went in Saturday. It's now, four days later, nearly all gone. But I feel no guilt. I've paid my rent up til April. I've paid all my bills. I've paid back the few people I owed money to. I've had a hair cut. I've spent a small (ha!) amount on general bits and pieces. I've done a pretty large grocery shop. I've spent some money on my darling GKL. And I spent sixty odd quid on knitting yesterday. So, no guilt.

And today I was tortured =( I had a hospital appointment to have teeth extracted. Now, it's fairly common knowledge that I have gross teeth. A combination of not looking after myself properly in depressive funks, and being terrified of dentists. But after two years of chronic toothache I finally went to the dentist a year ago. She gave me a filling and said I needed some extractions, but because of where they were (right at the back) she referred me to the hospital so I could be knocked out while they did it.

Various things (clashes, wimping out, missing consultants) meant that I kept missing the hospital appointment. Finally got there in late November I think, where the nasty Welsh sod told me he wasn't gonna knock me out cos I'm fat and I'd die. So I had an appointment today to have it done while I was awake. I really, REALLY didn't wanna go. GKL was gonna frogmarch me, but then she got offered some hours at work. I really didn't want to go, but I knew I needed to, so I went.

I had the nasty needles in gums and hitting bone. I had the nurses quizzing me about my tattoos while my mouth slowly turned numb. I had horrendous pressure and tugging. I kept my eyes shut. I made the mistake of opening my eyes when I heard the word suture. I saw long string coming out of my mouth, and the suction tube was bright red with my blood. Gross, gross, gross.

But it's over. All done. Because it's both sides of my mouth, they offered me the chance to get one half done another time. I decided I wanted it all over and done with. It's over, and my mouth is starting to get its feeling back - which is not a good thing. Ow!! I also look like a vampire every time I open my mouth. It's full of blood, and blood-stained saliva. Not pretty, despite my vampirism fetish.

I just wish I could stop shaking =(