It goes on...

So far in 2009 not a lot has happened. I helped GKL and her family turn her (slightly) disorganized flat into an organized one yesterday. I've very nearly finished stitching the Tigger Christmas thing, more about that later. I've watched my libido die. That's about it. I hate the holidays. Christmas is over, there's nothing interesting about the holidays anymore. Aside from GKL, none of my friends are in town, and it's just occurred to me that it wouldn't matter if they were as I don't see any of them outside uni anyway. I have no social life.

Looking back at last year, what did I do, in a social sense? On Mondays I did nothing. On Tuesdays I did nothing. On Wednesdays I went to a roleplay session. On Thursdays I went to Stitch and Bitch. On Fridays I went to Brownies. That's it. As much as I love her, the only person I hung out with aside from all that was GKL. Or with her and her friends. I have plenty of friends online, people I can talk to... although actually not that many. Just one or two. Neither of whom seem to want to meet up with me in real life.

God, I'm so pathetic. :( The thing is, my uni friends consider socialising to be going to the union and that doesn't always appeal to me.

I've met up with people outside societies, I know I have. There was bowling for my birthday, and the drunken roleplay session, and that brief foray with IMP. That was it. Damn, I need to make some friends. I need to make some friends who actually want to hang out with me. I spend far too much time alone in my room. Maybe if I had someone to be in my room with, it wouldn't be too bad.

You know, this blog was meant to be an update on my stitching and stuff - that will come - but it's turned into a revelation as to how I have absolutely no life. I signed up to 11 societies during freshers fair, and refreshers fair is in a few weeks. I could fill every weeknight with one or two different societies, but it still doesn't constitute a social life. At the weekends, or even during a free hour or two during the week, I have no friends I can call on to hang out with. No wonder I'm so lonely all the time. Pathetic. And what's even more pathetic, is that I don't know how to change it. I don't know how to make friends.

Anyway, moving away from the depressing subject of my pathetic lonely existence, on to stitching. I made the mistake of deciding to outline the stars on this Tigger thing with sparkly thread, which is all good and well except the bloody stuff unravels and I get frustrated and give up after each star. Now, having done half, I have no enthusiasm to do the rest. But I can't do New Thing 1 until all the stars are outlined, and week one finishes at midnight tonight.

I could cheat. I could go to Tesco and get some peanut butter and some bread and some jam and try a PB&J sandwich for New Thing 1, except that I've already started my scrapbook page for seedbeading, and I'd have to rip the page out and make a mess of my lovely scrapbook. So, once I've finished this (and cried at my pathetic existence, and probably binged too) I'll finish those bloody stars, and then I'll attempt the damn seedbeading.

I'll probably find that too frustrating and give up on that too. I'm good at giving up on things. I'm good at never starting things. Bleh. Scrapbooking every teeny tiny thing in my life, half my life online, the other half crying and feeling miserable for myself. No wonder I've got no bloody friends.

GKL has had an attitude revelation today. She watched some show on On Demand and has decided to approach things from a different angle. I should do that. I should snap out of this depressive funk, and try to change things for the better. I just don't know how. I know only a few things that make me feel better when I'm like this, and none of them are good for me.

2009 is not looking good.