Well that didn't work....

Yesterday I came into the library to collect books to back up my Politics essay, and some to start my History essay. And this morning at home I finished the Politics essay. I caught the first bus (as you know if you read the earlier blog) to the library to come print it off, and to hopefully write a History essay.

The deadline for these essays is between 10 and 12 today. I had approximately five hours to write one. In theory I could have done it. It wouldn't have been very good, but I could have done it. If I'd done the research, and had notes to work from, I would definitely have been able to do it. And it would have been reasonably good too.

However.... I didn't happen. It's half past nine. I've collected books, I've got some notes and I've made a start. I have about three hundred of the required two thousand words. I don't think I've made it, and my brain having made that decision I can't do anymore. Every time I try I get flustered and start the hyperventilating thing again. So, I've made the decision to forget it. I'm not going to spend the next two and a half hours stressing about it, or I'll end up with an episode.

I'm going to take my Politics essay in, and collect an extenuating circumstances form. I've written and printed a list of problems to hand to my doctor and plan to go to the doctor's this afternoon. My current plan is to hand the extenuating circumstances form in on Monday, with an explanation, and a copy of my prescription (which will hopefully be bigger) and hand in the essay next week. That's the plan, anyway.

But I am NOT going to force myself right now. Because I know full well that if I do it'll probably end in bloodshed. Literally.