Falling apart

I've always had some kind of health issue, for as long as I can remember, and at the moment they seem to be piling up. My ankle is gradually getting worse. Have I told you all the wonderfully horrible story about my ankle?

Before 2000 I'd sprained my right ankle about twice. In 2000, while on a trip to London, I went over on my ankle again and sprained it. Or so I thought. A close friend who was a nurse told me that it was definitely more than sprained and I needed to go to the hospital. Off I toddled, and they x-rayed and poked and told me that I'd torn the ligaments away from the bone and I had to stay off it for three weeks. After the first week the swelling had gone down, the bruising had faded and it stopped hurting - so I went back to college. And royally screwed myself up for life.

Since then I've sprained/twisted it about 25 times. It goes very very easily. In October 2008 I went over on a loose floorboard at my old home and ended up back in the hospital. This time I chipped the bone and they put my leg in a temporary plaster cast overnight and told me to come back in the morning when the swelling had gone to see if I needed a proper cast. Luckily I didn't need the cast, but I had a plastic/airbubble strap thing for it for a long time - it was useless and uncomfortable.

Before I went to America, my ankle ached in severe heat or cold, and when I'd walked on it for more than a mile, or when I slightly twisted it. Almost as soon as I got to America it started aching all the time. Constantly. I kinda ignored it because it counted as a pre-existing condition and wasn't covered by my insurance - I just kept taking the Ibuprofen I'd been taking for it for years. Simple. I told myself that it because Maine was in at a higher (lower?) altitude (rubbish probably) and that it'd settle down when I got home.

It didn't. I've been in almost constant aching pain. I managed to convince my GP to prescribe my Ibuprofen because it was getting expensive, but other than that doctors have only ever told me that I need to lose weight because my excessive weight is putting too much strain on the ankle. Duh! I know this. But that doesn't help in the short term.

Then last Thursday whilst walking down the steps at the library I think I stepped too heavily. I had a sharp pain in it rather than the usual dull ache. The sharp pain lasted a day or two. For the Friday I couldn't turn my foot inwards without excruciating pain. It hurts ten times more when I stand on it now than it did before. I planned to go to A&E on Sunday to get it checked out, but I wimped out because it wasn't an emergency.

And then there's my back. I don't know if other people have this, but you know when you lie flat on your back for a long time and then move, your lower back starts to hurt? Well I get that a lot. I'm guessing it's more strain because of my weight. Yesterday I woke up with this same pain, and it didn't go away. At all. All day. I sat at my desk for a while, but it hurt too much. The only time my back didn't hurt was when I was stood up, but then my ankle hurt too much. I ended up lying on my side in a banana on my bed for most of the day, which was a little boring. I tried to have a hot bath, but had difficulty bending over to turn the taps on, let alone climb into the tub. Early this morning I woke up and my back was feeling better, though there was still a twinge, so I took the opportunity to have a bath. It felt a lot better in the water, so did my ankle. If the bath wasn't too short for me, I'd stay in there forever.

But now I'm out of the bath and sitting up again, the pain is back. I want to lie down but if I do I'll be stuck again. Yesterday when I was laying down I needed to get up and it took me twenty minutes.

All this is not good. I have an appointment with my GP at 11.30 this morning. I'm a little apprehensive about it. I have a horrible feeling that when I stepped too heavily on the stairs I split the chip in my bone and they're going to put me a cast. I have no idea at all what the Dr is going to say about my back. I know for a fact though that I'll have to put up with the you-need-to-lose-weight lecture. I KNOW THAT! I'm working on losing the weight, but in the meantime, I can't move.

Speaking of which, I only have an hour and a half until my appointment. It's gonna take me almost twice that long to get off the bed, get dressed and hobble across the road to the doctors. Wish me luck.