My Pledge

Most of this will be of absolutely no interest to anyone who reads my blog, but it's my promise to myself, and I feel like if it is out in public then it's official and I have to stick to it.

So, I love New York City. I LOVE New York City. I've been a few times now. I went for my birthday for 10 days in 2005. And I went twice while I was out in Maine for four months in 2009. And I want to go back. All the time. Constantly! My ultimate dream is to live there one day. And I've decided that for my 30th birthday next year I'm going back. I've never been there WITH anyone before, but hopefully that'll happen in a few years when Cayden can afford it (we're going to cross off "Christmas in New York" from my bucket list). But I'm going back next year. Decision made.

Can I afford it? No.

Is that going to stop me? No.

Since last year my financial common sense has improved incredibly. I'm paying off my debts, slowly, and I'm paying my bills when I'm supposed to. I still owe quite a lot of money, and one debt that specifically gets on my mind is the money that I owe Neil. I'm currently going through a severe spring-cleaning phase and seling lots that I own on eBay. And I'm also opening an Etsy store in a few months that should make a bit of money.

I don't think any of this is coming out in any sense of order. Bear with me.

In 2010 I did that New Thing: Challenges thing, for the year. The reward system was that for every challenge I passed I got to save a certain amount of money, and for each challenge that I failed, I had to donate the same amount of money. Because I'm me, I didn't save or donate anything, but I did keep records of all the amounts. This year, I'm doing Project 200, and for each piece that I complete I get to save £1.50. There have been a few things that I was saving for, but New York has just overtaken all of them in importance.

I have a tin, that I save all the money in. And to make sure that I actually save, a good friend looks after the tin for me. So far this year I saved a bit of money, but had to break into it to pay my broadband bill last month. So the saving has restarted. But... every penny earned from eBay will go into the tin. Every penny earned from Etsy will go into the tin.

I'm also going to crack down on what I spend my money on each payday. I tend to buy a lot of crap. I'm going to write "New York" on my wallet, to remind myself why I'm saving. And I'm going to consciously think about whether or not I'm buying something because I WANT it or because I NEED it. (Yes, I know this is just everyday common sense, but I don't have any of that). All my spare money will go towards this trip.

Throughout this year, I'm clearing quite a few of my debts, too. Which means that I'll have more money every fortnight. Except that I won't. I'm going to stick to the bare basics I'm on now, and put the extra money towards the trip.

But (and here's where the pledge is important)... I still owe Neil quite a bit of money. I owe Jen a little, and my sister, and Cayden too. None of them will ever ask me for the money, even though every single one could use it. Especially Neil. And the money I owe him is actually quite a big amount. So... even if I have my flight paid off, and the hotel all booked, and all my dollars in my wallet...

I will not go to New York next year unless I have paid back Cayden, Jen and Jennie. And at least half of what I owe Neil.

All I have to do now is go and rewrite the list of stuff I have to do next payday. I'm now not buying quite a few bits, and I need to factor in a bus ticket to the blood donation centre. I wish they paid for blood in this country. And I wish I could have a garage sale. So much easier than eBay, and less fees.

Anyway... All this I pledge, in the name of New York City!

So, that was 2010...

It's over. Well, not quite. Technically there's still six hours left of it for me, but I honestly can't see me moving off the sofa for it. I've had a really exhausting day. It'll be a miracle if I even make it to midnight.

Anyway, last year I had a lot of plans for 2010. If you don't wanna read that post, I'm about to list the highlights, and how I did.

Be better with money

Ummmmm. Well, in spring I had a major breakdown money-wise. There was a Brownies thing, and a rent thing, and then there was a selling the Wii and tv thing, and it was a big depressing mess. A few months later I handed my finances over to my mum and asked for help. She called everyone I owe money to, and all my bills and things, and arranged for me to pay them. Now I have lots of standing orders going out on payday. It's been a little tough having hardly any money. I mean, I have enough. After all the bills, and gas and electric, I usually have £20-30 ish to play with, and to get food (per fortnight). That's not bad. But considering when I didn't pay any bills I had £200ish to play with, it's a bit of a drop. I'm getting used to it. As far as the resolution goes, I'm actually doing it. When I asked mum for help, the original plan was to hand control of my internet banking over to her or my sister, so I couldn't delete or change the standing orders. But there was a delay in some of the bills and things, and I never got around to it. But I've been paying the bills, not fiddling with the standing orders. Which for me is a huge improvement. I've paid off one debt already. By the end of 2011, I should only have one or two huge ones left.

Start saving

Not so good. I have difficulty saving anyway, and then with the money issues this year it's been impossible. With Project 200, I'll be saving via Cayden or Jen, and maybe I can give them some extra money too.

Pay damn bills

See above comment about money

Classes and courses and groups

In that post last year I listed a hundred different classes and courses and interest groups I was going to go to. I never got to any of them. I haven't had money to go anywhere other than on pay day really, and I've settled back into my old routine of not leaving the house. But I don't mind. I don't have anywhere to go, and I have plenty to keep me busy. It's not like I lounge on the couch watching tv all day. I do a lot.

Lose weight

I did go back to Weightwatchers. I went at the end of April and discovered that I very nearly hit that 30 stone threshold, but not quite. It was a shock, so I made an effort. I couldn't afford to go every week, but I went roughly once a fortnight. I lost a total of 18 lbs by the start of September, but then I had the big money decrease and haven't been able to afford it. I plan to go back in the New Year now I have a tiny bit of extra money.

Swimming

Nope. Never happened. I'd still like it to, but I'm highly doubtful it'll happen this year.

More writing

I have been doing some writing, but not nearly as much as I used to, or as I'd like to be doing. On my daily checklist, I have down to either do some math from a GCSE book I'm working through, or to do some writing. Trouble is, I've been counting blogging as doing writing. I'll change that.

Weekly photography missions

These never happened either. Although I do still like the idea. I may try it again this year. Perhaps not 50 pictures a week. I'll do 10 a week; much more manageable.

New incarnation of 52 New Things

I did this one! I completed 52 challenges. Well, I documented them all, I didn't necessarily complete them all. I'm quite proud of myself for that, and for last year. I don't normally manage to maintain a project, let alone one that lasts a year, and I've managed to keep these up for two years now. The new incarnation for 2011 is Project 200.

Moving

I did this! I moved on January 16th, and I love my flat. It gets a little lonely, but I have my Smudge....



...and I'd much rather be lonely occasionally than be in shared accomodation again. I love not having to compromise with anyone.

Keep my depression at a handleable level

Now this one is debateable. I've had a LOT less episodes than years past, but I've also been finding that my depression has been manifesting differently, so I'm not entirely sure. I haven't been suicidal quite as often, and I haven't self-harmed very much. But my dermotillomania is off the charts, and all my energy and oomph has a tendency to just vanish and leave me staring at the wall for hours at a time.

Stay with Neil

It has been a VERY rough year. Especially for Neil, with the loss of his brother, and a full year of episoding. His episode finally subsided a month or two ago, and his grief over Paul kicked in. He's had it hard. And relationship-wise it's been hard on me, because I've only seen him a few times. The last time was the end of July. But we're still together. I still love him with all my heart, and I'm still planning to stay with him through whatever life throws at us.

Be happy

I wouldn't say I'm 100% happy. There is still a lot in my life that I'd change if I could, and some stuff that I can change and that I'm trying my hardest to. But I can say that I'm content.

There's been developments that I didn't consider last year. It's been a year of pets. I haven't been too successful with them. When I moved, mum gave me a kitten. Tippi. Who turned out to be a boy, so he was Alfred Hitchcock, aka Alfie.



And then I got a rabbit to go with him. Sir Reginald Fortescue, aka Reggie.



But then Alfie escaped while I was down at Mum's one weekend, and I couldn't find him. And then my landlady decided she didn't want me to have a rabbit, so we took Reggie to the rehoming centre at PetsMart. So I was petless, which was not good. Then I got Pixel.



She was found by someone as a stray, with lots of little kittens. They took her in, but couldn't keep her, so I had her. Then I got Smudge, who is quite possibly the cutest cat I've ever had.



But Pixel tried to eat Smudge. Pixel really didn't enjoy being an indoors cat at all. She was always loud and restless and trying to escape, so I rehomed her with someone who could let her be an outdoor cat. Now I just have Smudge, but hopefully that's changing soon - there's a plan for kittens.

And the baking. I've developed a fascination with baking. No idea what triggered it, it just happened. Now I'm obsessed with it. The muffins! I've made six batches of muffins since I've been down here at Mum's. I made sausage and cheese ones Christmas day, and chilli and sweetcorn ones. Then I made gingerbread muffins. The gingerbread ones were so good one of mum's friends requested her own batch, so I made more of those. And yesterday I made more sausage and cheese ones because we had sausagemeat left. Today I made banana and walnut ones which were also delicious. But that's it! No more muffins til next year! Mind you, we went to Hobbycraft yesterday and I got cookie cutters, so I might make cookies next.

It's been a long and hard year. I hope 2011 is better, for everyone. Best wishes from me and Smudge.

Project 200

So, regular followers of my blog will know that for the past couple of years I've been setting myself a year-long challenge type thing. In 2009 I did 52 things I'd never done before. And this year I did 52 individual challenges. For 2011 I was going to do New Things again, and then I saw an interesting movie.

The movie is Julie and Julia, and it tells two stories simultaneously. One is the story of chef Julia Childs, and how she came around to publishing her cookbook. The other is a modern day story of a lady called Julie, who decides that she's going to cook all of the recipes in Julia Childs' book in a year, and that she's going to blog about it.

I liked the idea, but I'm neither proficient enough nor rich enough to do the cooking thing, so I had to think of something else. I considered working through a whole book of cross stitch patterns, or knitting patterns, or muffin recipes. I narrowed the idea down to making 52 different scarves, or shawls, or even blankets. Then I came up with the final idea. I took one of those display folders with fixed plastic wallets and filled it with patterns.

I have got a MILLION patterns. I cross stitch, knit, crochet, sew, blackwork, etc... and I collect books and patterns for all of them. I didn't think it'd be hard to fill a book with 200 patterns. It was. Once I'd been through all of the patterns I have, and picked out the ones I was interested enough in to actually do, I had about 50-60. So I went hunting the internet for more. It took me a while, but eventually I filled the folder.

So, next year's challenge is Project 200. A folder full of 200 different cross stitch, embroidery, felt work, crochet and knitting patterns. I have some rules...

1) ALL projects must be started AND finished between 12.01am January 1st 2011, and 11.59pm December 31st 2011.
2) Patterns cannot be changed. I can't find a nice pattern in July and take out one from the folder and put the new one in.
3) Once I finished the list, I emailed it to Cayden, and it became final. No more edits.
4) Additional projects may be made, but do not count towards Project 200.
5) Projects do not have to be done in order.

For a while, I wasn't sure if 200 was a ridiculous amount of projects, so I looked back at my project book. Between November 25th 2009 and November 25th 2010, I started and completed 91 projects. I started and didn't finish another 12, and I started and frogged 3. Bear in mind that I was also working on the Mammoth Secret Project, which took up a lot of time. So, 200 isn't that far a stretch. It's enough to be challenging, without being an impossible amount.

There are a variety of projects in the folder. Some blankets, and some jumpers and things, but then there are also several dishclothes, and some smaller cross stitches, so it balances out. There are some techniques I've never done too, like making socks, and intarsia. It should be... interesting.

Final detail of course, is incentive. I'll be giving Jen or Cayden a special money box, because they can be trusted to not break into it, and I can't. Then, every payday, I'll aim to give them £1 or £2 per completed project. I'm also going to gradually give them the money I've earned this year. By the end of the year I should have a nice pile of cash to spend at a nice yarn store. There's a place called K2Tog near me that does some gorgeous yarns - it's where I got that Noro, and the llama - I just haven't been able to afford to go there in over a year.

So, that's the plan. All that's left to do is wait until New Year. Watch this space.

New Thing: Challenge # 52

Challenge 52: Don't eat ANY Christmas chocolate until the day AFTER Boxing day.

In theory, this shouldn't have been difficult. I had plenty of non-Christmas chocolate to keep me going. It was hardest to remember. I'm so used to opening my stocking and cracking in to the chocolate coins without even thinking about it.

But I managed! And so the year ends on a pass, even if there were more fails than passes overall, it's still good.

I'm about to blog about my Big Thing for next year, so look out for that.

Current saved total: £100
Current donated total: £160

New Thing: Challenge # 51

Challenge 51 - Go 24 hours without saying a certain word

Now, I'm a little bit obsessed with Christmas. I LOVE it, and I can't stop thinking or talking about it. So my challenge this week was to go 24 hours without saying the words "Christmas" or "Santa".

I waited until Thursday (today) to do this, because I'd be with Mum and Michaela, and would therefore have adjudication. Here's how it went...

Midnight - Okay, I'm still awake and chatting with Michaela about "Easter".
2am - I fall asleep
4.30am - I wake up and can't get back to sleep.
6.00am - Mum gets up so I make her a cup of coffee
6.30am - Mum and I are talking about tv and I mention considering watching a BBC "Truth about Christmas Carols" special
6.31am - Facepalm

D'oh. I failed. Miserably. I lasted six hours! If I'd been able to sleep longer, I might have lasted longer.

One more challenge to go!!

Current saved total: £95
Current donated total: £160

New Thing: Challenge # 50

Challenge 50: Write a "This I Believe" essay.

I managed to pass one! It's not exactly an essay, more like a list. But the whole idea of this challenge was to think about and focus on what I believe, and that's what I've done. I've left the file on the desktop of my laptop, and I'm going to look back at it in a few days to see if it inspires a piece of writing.

This I Believe...

I believe that everyone has the right to be as different as they want.
I believe in faith, and in a higher power, but I don’t believe in religion.
I believe that in the indefinable size of the universe, and other universes, and general existence, that there must be a planet with life on it somewhere.
I believe that vampires and werewolves and ghouls and ghosts and elves and fae roam the earth, but that they are better at hiding that the stories make them out to be.
I believe that despite my flaws, I deserve the same chance at love and happiness as everyone else.
I believe that love can conquer anything.
I believe in freedom, beauty, truth and love.
I believe that as long as you aren’t hurting anyone, you can do whatever you like.
I believe that Santa Claus is real.
I believe that wishes can come true.
I believe that dreams are messages.
I believe that people aren’t as nice to each other as they could be.
I believe in past lives and reincarnation.
I believe in imagination.
I believe that adults should indulge their inner child more than they do.
I believe that not all wounds will always heal.
I believe in superheroes.
I believe in the healing power of cuddles and laughter.
I do not always believe in myself, but I believe that someone else does.
I believe in the right of every human being to believe what they like.
I believe in the Christmas spirit.
I believe in hopefulness, and in hopelessness.
I believe in magic.



Current saved total: £95
Current donated total: £155

New Thing: Challenge # 49

Challenge 49 - Do a crochet project, following the symbols

Yes, this is the same challenge as last week but it's something that I want to know how to do, so I had another go at it. And this week I actually managed to have a go. I failed. Just a big knot. I understand the theory. I know that this symbol means do this, and this symbol means do that... I just don't get the other bits. Do I join the round? What stitch and I increasing into?

It made no sense to me. So fail. But at least I attempted it this week.

Current saved total: £90
Current donated total: £155

New Thing: Challenge # 48

Challenge 48 - Do a crochet project, following the symbols

Crochet patterns are generally written in two forms. You get the line by line wording...

Rnd 1. Sc 4 in magic ring (4)

Rnd 2. *Sc in next sc, Inc* around (6)

Rnd 3. *Sc in next 2 sc, Inc*around (8)

Rnd 4. *Sc in next 3 sc, Inc*around (10)

Then you have a charted pattern...



When I taught myself how to crochet last year, I used the written out version and have never gotten to grips with the charts. My challenge for the week was to follow a charted pattern. I had one in mind, this nice star. I just haven't gotten around to it. I've been ill, I've had a house to rearrange, and all sorts. I just never got the time. It is something I want to do though, so I'm going to try it again for this week's challenge.

Current saved total: £90
Current donated total: £150

New Thing: Challenge # 47

Challenge 47 - Embroider on card

I've been running out of ideas for challenges, so I asked Cayden to suggest one. He went with his latest crafting craze, which is transferring a picture to cardboard via pinholes, and then sewing it.



I chose a simple blackwork cross, and copied it onto squared paper. Then I layered it with some sparkly red card on a nice piece of foam, and attacked it with a pin.



I was tempted to not sew it, and to just stick it up on the window, cos it gives such a pretty pattern (sorry about the blurry)...



But the challenge was to sew it, and sew it I did. When you think of sewing up holes in cardboard, you tend to think of those kiddy embroidery kits, but it was so not as easy as it sounds. When you sew on aida, you can drag the needle across the holes on the back side, to find the right point, but it's not as easy as that on card. And you distort the holes really easily, which is very frustrating. But I did it, and I think it came out quite well.



You can't really see the sparkly in the picture, but the paper is all glittery and lovely.

Current saved total: £90
Current donated total: £145

New Thing: Challenge 46

Challenge 46 - live diurnally for 2 weeks

My body naturally leans towards nocturnal living. No matter how long I've been awake, or how rested I am, I am ALWAYS much happier, more alert and active during the night time. Since I have no job, no college, no dependents, I don't really see a problem with living that way. I can do pretty much everything online these days, so living nocturnally is a viable way of life.

The only thing that bothers me is that my friends and family aren't nocturnal, so when I sink into a habit of going to bed at dawn, and waking up around 5-6pm, I don't get to see or speak to anybody very much. Particularly Neil, who goes to bed the second he gets home from work. So every so often I try to get into a "proper" routine. I usually fail.

This week I decided to set a challenge to stay diurnal for two weeks. I failed. Miserably. Day 1 I woke up ill, and that was the end of it.

I'm not too disappointed, to be honest. I've managed to stay not-quite-as-nocturnal, and with my new sofa and computer chair I'm keeping to a better routine than I was.

Current saved total: £85
Current donated total: £145

New Thing: Challenge # 45

Challenge 45 - Survive my sister's wedding without having an episode

On Friday November 5th 2010, my baby sister Jennie got married.



She's known Joe for a million years, and he's always been considered my brother-in-law, so this was just a formality really. But I'm so happy for her and have been for months. They're currently on their honeymoon in Florence.

However... I have big issues with my family. And I have some envy issues with Jennie. I haven't seen most of my family in 6-10 years. I've never met my three nieces or my nephew. I haven't spoken to my father in years, and when I do he treats me like a stranger. And my stepmother goes out of her way to make my life hell. Oh, and two of my ex-boyfriends were going to be there. So I've spent months being terrified about this wedding. I've had nightmares nearly every night. Jen and Neil were both invited, but Neil couldn't make it. So Jen had to support me on her own. I wasn't sure how the wedding would go, but I was pretty sure that I'd end up crying miserably, or having an episode.

But I didn't. No episode. It was a very emotional day. During the ceremony I sobbed like a baby, and felt guilty because only half of it was happiness for Jennie and Joe. A lot of my ceremony-based crying was sadness and misery for myself because I wasn't sure something like that would ever happen to me. But it was a good day. My father ignored me. Said no more than four words to me. I think my stepmother actually said more. But every single member of the rest of the family greeted me with love and happiness. One of my uncles, my favourite uncle, bounded into the church like a big puppy, and clamboured over Jen and Michaela so he could give me a cuddle. My brothers all made an effort to come and talk to me, and introduce me to their families. This was especially important to me, because techincally they aren't my brothers. My father is my stepdad, my stepmother is my stepstepmother and my brothers are her sons, who are technically no relation. But despite all the hassles we've had, I still think of them as my brothers, and it made my heart swell to realise that they still think of me as their sister.

And their children are the most adorable little kiddlings I've ever met. Especially Lucas. My god he's so amazing. He's not even a year old yet, and I want to run away with him!

Anyway, the upshot is, that the wedding wasn't half as bad as I thought it was going to be, and I didn't have an episode. Yes, I'm jealous of Jennie and Joe, but I'm incredibly pleased for them, and can't wait til they have kiddies :-)

Current saved total: £85
Current donated total: £140

New Thing: Challenge # 43

Challenge 43 - Drink my age in Sherbert

Okay, so last week I turned 28. Woohoo, I'm old. For a while now I've been toying with the idea of drinking my age in alcoholic shots. My original plan for my birthday celebration was to go the student union and drink 28 shots of my beloved Apple Sourz. Unfortunately this proved farrr too expensive, and the results may not have been too pretty. It's also no fun to drink alone, and the people coming to my birthday celebrations aren't big drinkers. So we went to Taybarns instead.

The drinking-age-in-shots plan went from that, to eating-age-in-profiteroles, to eating-age-in-delicious-ribs, to the ultimate. DRINKING MY AGE IN SHERBERT STRAWS! And not those little piddly arse ones either. The BIG ONES.

That's 28 of them. Unfortunately I didn't succeed. I managed 12 before my tongue started to explode. Very painful. I did get slightly high though.

Current saved total: £80
Current donated total: £135

New Thing: Challenge # 42

Challenge 42 - related to the Mammoth Secret Project

I can't talk much about this challenge, because of the Secret aspect, but I'd narrowed down what was left to do into sections. The challenge was to complete a certain number of sections. I failed.

I do have an excuse though. I ran out of yarn :-( I have yarn coming to me from all over the world now from random lovely Ravellers, so hopefully one day the Mammoth Secret Project will be finished.

Current saved total: £80
Current donated total: £130

New Thing: Challenge # 41

Challenge 41: Dye Yarn

As you know from Challenge 39, I won this yarn and koolaid months ago. And I finally got around to dying it!

My skein collapsed almost right away, which I should have taken as a sign, but I didn't. Because I'm me, and I ignore stuff like that. I mixed up the kool aids and picked these two.

I had visions of a nice red and blue variagated yarn with maybe some splodges of purple. Looking at it now, that blue was never going to work.

It was a fun process, although not if you're my living room carpet. But it didn't turn out like I'd wanted. The blue was invisible, and the red came out pink. Perhaps I used too much water, who knows. But it was done. In my drying cupboard I had a "skein" of pink yarn dying and slowly felting itself together. I put off winding it for ages, because I was convinced it was going to be all felted and matted and one big knot, but it actually came out quite well.

It's not an utterly horrible colour, if you like pink, and there aren't too many destroyed patches. And it's quite nice to work with. I made a patch for my crochet quilt.

I'm definitely going to try dying yarn again, eventually, but I think I'll use a different dye.

Current saved total: £80
Current donated total: £125

New Thing: Challenge # 40

Challenge 40: Leave the house (further than the gas meter) every day

FAIL. Big fail.

I'm not good with the going out. I tend to go out once a fortnight on payday, and that's it. If I had a bus pass I would go out more, but I don't at the moment. The going out for a walk every day challenge a few weeks ago failed miserably, but I figured this one would be a little easier. All I had in mind was crossing the street and sitting on the wall and watching the world go by for a bit.

Except that I'm having a strange episode. I'm in a funk, a definite funk, but it's not like my usual ones. I'm not depressed, at all. I'm not overly cheerful either, I'm just... okay. The downside is that I have no energy to do anything. Anything at all. I haven't even done any stitching in days. Not a stitch. All I've been doing is waking up, watching my shows, going back to sleep. It's been strange, but I much prefer it to the usual deep, dark pit of misery.


Current saved total: £75
Current donated total: £125

New Thing: Challenge # 39

Challenge 39: Dye Yarn

A few months ago I won some plain yarn and some packets of kool aid for dying in a swap challenge thing. I've been meaning to get around to it since I got it, I've never dyed my own yarn before. I've also been doing all of these challenge groups on Ravelry, and since dying yarn counted as one of the challenges for September, I figured I'd do it this week.

I failed. No particular reason. I just never got around to it. The deadline for my Mammoth Secret Project is rapidly approaching, and I still have nearly half of it to finish, not including sewing it all up, So I've been trying to focus on just that. As a result, the challenge groups have kind of been ignored. I did leave one or two of the groups, but I'm kind of regretting it now. Just cos I can't participate at the moment, doesn't mean I can't go back to them in a month or so when the Mammoth Secret Project is finished. So I'm gonna go rejoin them now :-)

Current saved total: £75
Current donated total: £120

New Thing: Challenge # 38

Challenge 38: Write a love list about yourself

To a depressive who generally hates herself, this one didn't even sound easy. I managed to get one or two things after several days agonising, but then I realised I didn't know how many items I needed. After some discussion, it was decided that I needed 15, but 10 constituted a pass. Believe it or not, I managed to get 15. Yep, I'm as surprised as you are.

1) I love my big bright blue eyes
2) I love my boobzillas
3) I love my creativity
4) I love my tattoos
5) I love my organisation skills
6) I love my laugh
7) I love my imagination
8) I love the writing I have done
9) I love my impulsive, crazy, not-quite-thought-out ideas
10) I love my honesty and openness
11) I love my sense of humour
12) I love my collarbone
13) I love my sense of style
14) I love my nose
15) I love my complexion

Look at that, a lot of those were even physical attributes. Who knew?

Current saved total: £75
Current donated total: £115

New Thing: Challenge # 37

Challenge 37: go on a minimum of a ten minute walk every day.

Another EPIC fail. The first day, the Friday, I went to Lidl, so I walked a fair way (for my anyway) and came home completely exhausted. I even got groceries. Then I haven't left the house since.

Current saved total: £70
Current donated total: £115

New Thing: Challenge # 34

Challenge 34: 101 snapshots challenge

A long, long, long time ago, when I was researching ideas for New Things and Challenges, I stumbled across this. A 100 Snapshots Challenge. For those too lazy to follow the link, the idea is that you're given 100 words and have to take a photo for each word. Except that they aren't simple things like "chair", or "cat".

1. Safety
2. Stale
3. Feathered
4. Hot
5. Open
6. Forever
7. Love
8. Touch
9. Colorless
10. Blue
11. Smell
12. Growth
13. Irony
14. Wrong
15. More
16. Feel
17. Muse
18. Child
19. Within
20. Pale
21. Earth
22. Torn
23. Scars
24. Stray
25. Drops
26. Against
27. Dry
28. Fresh
29. Covered
30. Bold
31. High
32. Shadow
33. Concrete
34. Vein
35. Rush
36. Yellow
37. Empty
38. Cliché
39. Central
40. Loss
41. Wonder
42. Sweet
43. Poetry
44. Heavy
45. Fall
46. Chair
47. Statue
48. Kool-Aid
49. Dark
50. Breath
51. Garbage
52. Silk
53. Teacher
54. Cream
55. Wash
56. Corner
57. Rose
58. Field
59. Two
60. Red
61. Music
62. Rope
63. Decrepit
64. Chase
65. Dream
66. Dance
67. Smile
68. Smirk
69. Reflection
70. Soul
71. Lock
72. Key
73. Rust
74. Find
75. Lose
76. Drag
77. Wind
78. Rest
79. Swing
80. Meeting
81. Vacant
82. Hazy
83. Release
84. Gather
85. Swarm
86. Road
87. Wait
88. Stand
89. Distance
90. Trapped
91. Desk
92. Detach
93. Shatter
94. Home
95. Shy
96. Tackle
97. Begin
98. End
99. Time
100. Life

My interest in photography fluctuates wildly, but this is something that I'd like to complete. So I decided to give myself four weeks for this one, based on how often I get out of the house. Except that my depression has been pretty bad recently and I've been getting out of the house even less than usual. I came up with some ideas for some of them, but took a grand total of... zero photographs.

Not only was it a fail, it was an epic fail.

I do like photography though. A while ago I even did a City & Guilds in it - although it was mostly film. The thing is, when it comes to digital photography, I'm not very good at it. I don't pay enough attention to lighting, so I attempt to take photos in my living room with it's energy saving light bulb. Then I wonder why they aren't any good. I've looked at some courses, but with my financial situation in the major mess it is at the moment, I can't afford to go anywhere, let alone pay for a course. Maybe I'll look for a free online one. You can find anything online these days.

The point of my rambling being, that although I failed, it is one that I'd like to complete one day.

Current saved total: £70
Current donated total: £110

New Thing: Challenge # 36

Challenge 36: write 5 'Dear Stranger' letters and leave them to be found

I wrote this out on five different coloured notecards...

Dear Stranger,

First of all, well done for being brave and opening this! Yes, it WAS meant for you :-) I hope your day is going well, and that everything is working out for you. Please remember that whatever is bothering you is not as bad as you think it is.

My name is Cleo and I've left this letter as part of a challenge. My intention is to reach out to people I wouldn't normally be in contact with, to bend my own comfort barriers, and perhaps to make someone else's day a little bit better. I'm not sure what kind of person will pick this up, so let me try one or two things.

1) Try not to start singing "it's the final countdown" in your head.
2) You just lost the game.
3) Do any of these mean anything to you? MLIA? FML? IMMD?

Perhaps none of those made you smile, and perhaps you're shaking your head trying to figure out what sort of weirdo would leave a letter for a stranger, but you're still reading, so thank you :-) Thank you for persisting, and thank you for participating in my little experiment.

Cleo


I left my email address in case anyone wanted to contact me too.

I left the red one on the 101 bus, and actually witnessed an old guy open it, read it and then stuff it in his bag. I left the green one in the pattern display case at Abakhan Fabrics. I put the blue one in the magazine rack in W H Smiths. I put the orange one between some cushions at Costa Coffee, and Jen planted the yellow one at the meeting place she went to Tuesday evening.

No emails as yet.

Current saved total: £70
Current donated total: £105